MiKenzie, Inc.

Trampoline

2011-07-30T18:08:00.000-07:00

My brother moved last year and his new yard is just too small. So small that they had to give up their trampoline. We are now the proud owners of a trampoline. Thanks guys...

I'm sure it will case many accidents in the future, but it will also bring huge amounts of joy and burn so much kiddy energy. So here's to summer fun.

Oh, on a side note, Hannah's becoming and escape artist, so watch out.

Kenny's Birthday?

2011-07-30T17:10:00.000-07:00

Yes it's been two months. Time to play catch up.

Kenny's birthday was June 2. It was a Thursday so to accommodate work schedules we had an early lunch party. Nothing spectacular or extra special just some friends and family. Gramma and Grampa made their special pizza dough at Kenny's request.

We followed pizza with presents. Here Kenny is opening the one Alex picked for him. A couple of laser guns that Alex loves a much as Kenny does.

And here he is after opening the one from Mom and Dad. Does he look excited to you?

For his cake this year I made some rich chocolate brownies to go in home made chocolate bowls. The brownies were a little heavy for the bowls but so delicious.

Hannah had just a little too much "fun" with her cake.

Then it was time to play with the new toys. Here's Kenny with his cousin/best friend Isaac playing with his new guns.

Kenny with cousins Lucy and Matea experimenting with his new game.

Kenny also got several learning activity book so when the party was over we cracked those open. He does so good and has almost complete them all. Good thing this one is reusable. If you expand the picture you can actually read what he's written.

Why I'm Still a Mormon

2011-07-05T19:46:00.000-07:00

Note: This is not intended to convince anyone to join or leave the Church. This is simply me explaining to people (mostly my family) why I am still a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. There are so many people in my life with varying opinions and associations in the Church, so I just want to make it known where I stand.

The first 18 years of my life went pretty much the way they did for most other LDS kids. I was born to a couple who were married in the temple and who raised my brother and sisters to be active members of the Church. We were taught to follow the commandments, to sustain Church leaders, to pay an honest tithe, and to follow the Word of Wisdom. I had conservative ideals, starting even at a young age when I didn’t really follow politics. Once I was old enough to vote, I’d vote for right-wing parties, and I’d hope that Republican candidates in the States were elected. I didn’t swear (much), I didn’t drink or smoke, and impure thoughts filled me with guilt. My one “flaw” as an adolescent Mormon would probably be that I didn’t graduate from seminary.

I was 18 years old, just a few months out of high school, something happened in my home life that triggered my first spiritual crisis. At the request of those involved, I won't go into any details, but I found myself, for the first time, asking myself “What if the Church isn’t true?” The two years after the end of high school were tough for me for a variety of reasons, and this on top of everything else sent me into a funk. I still went to church, but unenthusiastically, and I decided that I wasn’t going to serve a mission.

Gradually, as things in my personal life settled down, I once again became the same shy, laid-back, mostly happy person I’d always been. This, coupled with the gentle yet tenacious promptings of Bishop Hirsche, led me to the decision to serve a mission after all. I reported to the MTC when I was 20, and came home when I was 22. I came home more conservative than ever. I wasn’t a ranting, raving, Glen Beck-esque conservative like the ones you see on TV with their “God Hates Fags” placards. Rather, I was like what I believe most conservatives are: calm, considerate, and with a strict black-and-white view of the world. This isn’t really surprising. I think the year or two after anyone serves a mission is when we’re all at our most conservative. Most of us mellow. Some more than others.

I mellowed a lot. In the 2000 Canadian Federal election (about a month after I came home from my mission), I voted for the Canadian Alliance. The last few elections, I’ve voted for the New Democratic Party. My political opinions have swung wildly to the left, and a lot of my religious beliefs were pulled with them. There is no denying that the LDS church, like any other western Christian religion, is a predominantly right-wing institution. I found myself in another spiritual crisis, this one much more serious than the last one. Out of my family of nine, only three of us have anything to do with the Church, and several of my cousins have distanced themselves from it as well. They left for a variety of different reasons, and they all have a variety of different beliefs now. Not only was I looking at the Church from my new position as a liberal, but most of the people who were close to me had reasons—a lot of them valid concerns—for why they had left the Church.

I’m writing this to let you know that the crisis is behind me. I’m still a liberal, I still have issues with the Church, but I still believe that the Church is true and that being a member of it is the right thing for me to do. I’ve found a balance, and it works for me. For the remainder of this essay, I will describe my issues with the Church, why they’re points of concern for me, and why I’m still a Mormon.

My Definitions of the Core Doctrines of Mormonism

1. Jesus Christ is the son of God and the Savior of mankind.

This one’s pretty basic, but it’s also the most important. Christ wasn’t just a prophet, he wasn’t just a wise teacher, and he wasn’t just a man who achieved some sort of transcendence like a Christian version of Buddha. He is literally God’s Son and, through the Atonement, paid the price for everyone’s sins.

2. Joseph Smith was a prophet of God.

For Mormons, this one is almost as important as Christ’s role. If Joseph Smith wasn’t a prophet, there would be no Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I don’t see how someone could claim to be LDS without believing that Joseph Smith saw Heavenly Father and Jesus in a vision, had the Priesthood restored through him, and translated the golden plates. Yes, there are variations of the First Vision that differ from the official version found in Joseph Smith—History, and I struggled with that for a while, but I eventually realized that it isn’t all that important. Also, Joseph Smith Jr. was in no way a perfect person. Not even close. But being perfect is not a prerequisite to being a prophet.

3. The Book of Mormon is scripture.

This one goes hand-in-hand with believing that Joseph Smith is a prophet. We all know enough about the Book of Mormon that I don’t really have anything to add that my main audience of this essay (my family) hasn’t heard already. Suffice it to say that I believe in the Book of Mormon’s message even if I don’t believe that the Lamanites are the principle ancestors of Native Americans. That is, to say, that I don’t take everything in it literally, and that has a lot to do with Joseph Smith being far from perfect.

4. Priesthood authority is necessary for essential ordinances.

Ordinances such as baptism, confirmation, endowment, and marriage are sacred and shouldn’t be performed without proper God-given authority.

5. Families are eternal.

This one doesn’t really need an explanation. You all know about the Plan of Salvation, and how we’re married for time and eternity and sealed to our children. It’s not a huge, complicated idea, but I think it is very significant to Mormons, and is one of the things that sets us apart from other Christian religions.

What I Struggled With

I could go on about polygamy and black people being excluded from the priesthood prior to 1978, but those are things that we, as a Church, have remedied and put behind us, even if the rest of the world hasn’t. Most of my issues with the Church deal with Mormonism as it exists today, especially Mormon culture (as opposed to doctrine).

1. The LDS stance on gay civil marriages.

The Church shouldn't care what people outside of Mormonism are doing as long as we aren't being forced to do it ourselves. If someone who isn't a Mormon wants to marry someone of the same sex, why should the Church care? If it's a sin, that's between God and the individual. The Church should govern its members, not the rest of the world. If the Church is actively working to prevent homosexuals from getting married, why isn't it also actively working towards prohibition of alcohol, tobacco, drugs, and pornography? Yes, it preaches that these things are wrong, and tells the members not to use them, but what political steps have they taken to abolish them? In short, I'm saying that I don't have a problem with the Church not performing same-sex marriages. My problem is when they seek to prevent others who are not Mormon or even religious at all from having same-sex marriages.

2. Political and Economic Conservatism

Look at the major right-wing political parties in North America today, especially Republicans. Aside from espoused religious values, what are their political stances? Capitalism, i.e. the accumulation of wealth. Welfare is a bad idea; let the poor go out and get a job. Public healthcare is a socialist, evil program. Tax breaks for the wealthy.

Look at what Christ taught. “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” “And they continued steadfastly in the apostles' doctrine and in fellowship...And all that believed were together, and had all things in common; And sold their possessions and goods, and parted them to all men, as every man had need.” “Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.' Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'” There was the parable of the Good Samaritan. The story of the rich man who asked Jesus how to be saved, and was grieved when he was told to sell all of his possessions and give the money to the poor.

I could go on. What I’m getting at here is that Jesus was a socialist. Mormons seem to have forgotten that sometime during the Cold War, and we don’t seem to be remembering it even though those godless Commie bastards in Russia aren’t there anymore. Republicans (including the majority of Mormons) have attached the atheist Communist regime in the former Soviet Union to all of socialism. I see pictures of protestors in the US holding up signs accusing Obama of being a socialist and a Nazi in the same breath. That is how the right wing views socialism, and that is not what socialism is. Look at the Law of Consecration and the United Order back in the days of Joseph Smith. What is that, if not socialism?

3. Exclusion of others not of our faith

When I say “exclusion of others” I’m talking mostly talking about groups rather than individuals. I’m also talking about a more social exclusion. I’m not talking about people giving a Book of Mormon to somebody at work, or shaking hands with the visitor on Sunday. There are members who are always giving out Books of Mormon and inviting non-members to church, and that’s great. I once posted this list, without in-depth explanations, on a message board that I visit regularly, and someone replied with this comment: “I know that many members do this we are not to in fact we are to welcome them in the church. I know at times their can be difficulties in doing this. As members of the church if we truly love those of other religions we leave the door open for them always [sic].” To which I replied: “I'm not talking about welcoming people ‘in the church.’ I'm talking about Mormons dealing with non-Mormons in a completely non-religious setting. I remember living in a small Mormon town when I was a teenager, it was common in fast and testimony meeting to have parents stand at the pulpit testifying about how glad they are to ‘live in Zion,’ how glad they are to be raising their children in a culturally homogenous little bubble. The minority of the population who weren't Mormon were looked upon with distrust. I grew up on the east coast of Canada where Mormons were a minority, and most of my friends, including my best friend, weren't members of the Church. I was only 12 years old living in Raymond, but even at that young age I was disgusted by the close-mindedness of a Mormon majority. That's the main reason why I avoid Utah like the plague.”

4. Literal interpretation of the Creation account in the scriptures

We all know the account of the Creation and Adam and Eve as found in Genesis and the Peal of Great Price. People in the Church take it very literally. I believe the Creation occurred pretty much the way science says it did, but I acknowledge that it was guided by the hand of God. I believe there was a prophet named Adam married to a woman named Eve, but I think the account of their lives is not meant to be taken literally, but is instead largely symbolic. And without getting into details, I think the temple ceremony makes that glaringly clear, but people choose to ignore that for some reason.

I believe in evolution. Yes, even human evolution. I view the account of Adam and Eve as God’s first dealings with the humans He created. The humans He created using the process of evolution. Don’t Mormons believe that members of the Church are considered members of one of the 12 tribes of Israel? Do we believe that we are literal, genetic descendants of Abraham? My Patriarchal Blessing says I’m from the tribe of Ephraim. Does that mean that, if you follow my genealogy back far enough, you’ll find that my great-great-great-etc.-grandfather is Joseph? No. We say that we’ve been adopted into the Abrahamic Covenant. So why can’t the same be said about Adam and Eve? When it is said that we are their descendants, why can’t it mean that we are adopted into the covenant God made with Adam and Eve?

5. The modern Church's desire to affiliate itself with mainstream Christianity

There are a lot of good Christians in the world. I freely admit that. But Christianity, as a whole, is one of the most close-minded, rigid, intolerant religions in the world. And the modern Church seems to me to be trying to unofficially group itself under the blanket of mainstream Christianity. Yes, we want people to look at us as people who follow Christ. There is nothing wrong with that. The problem is the way we're doing it. We're doing it in a way that says, "Hey, look! We're just like you guys! Why not lets be friends?" Thing is, though, we are not much like mainstream Christianity. There are huge differences and contradictions in our core doctrines and their core doctrines. In trying to give ourselves a more protestant-friendly image, we gloss over a lot of the things that make us different and stress the things that are the same.

6. The Church is run like a business in a lot of ways

I'm not knocking tithing. Tithing is important. It's more the governing structure and policies of the Church that reminds me of a corporation rather than a religion. This isn’t a huge point of concern for me, but it does bother me sometimes. But don't get me started on how missionaries are treated, with that "Quiet Dignity" stuff.

Actually, come to think of it, yeah, I’ll talk about missionaries. I have a great respect for missionaries. I’ve been in their shoes. They work hard and have to put up with a lot of crap in the field. In a lot of ways, though, they are trained to be identical cogs in a huge proselytizing machine rather than as the unique individuals I think they would be more effective as. They dress the same. They have the same basic haircut. They use the same standardized teaching methods. They are taught methods for “building a relationship of trust,” which, even when I was a missionary, often struck me as coming off as faking friendship in order to convert someone. The Quiet Dignity that I mentioned earlier was basically a guideline of how to act at all times. Rules such as avoiding abbreviations (Doctrine & Covenants instead of D & C, District Leader instead of DL, etc.); don’t call each other by nicknames or “dude,” but rather call each other Elder or Sister at all times, even in private; and don’t joke around too much (this is a rule most missionaries break). I understand that it is important to keep an appearance of professionalism and an attitude of reverence for the calling of a missionary, but sending out identical automatons (yes, that is an exaggeration) is not the best method.

7. Hypocrisy

I'm not disputing that all people are sinners. Everyone has their vices. When I say hypocrisy, I'm actually referring, in large part, to things that I already listed as problems, things that affect the Church as a whole rather than as certain members as individuals. Political and economic conservatism being the major culprit. Social exclusion of those not of our faith being another big one. Countless members who live the Word of Wisdom perfectly, follow the Law of Chastity for the most part, go to Church every Sunday, pay an honest tithe, and then go screw someone over in a shady business deal at work on Monday. This isn’t a huge deal, because it’s part of human nature, and can be found in any religion.

So Why Am I Still a Mormon?

I just finished telling you some of my grievances with the Mormonism. If you remember my introduction to this little essay, when I said the spiritual crisis is over and that I’ve found a balance, you might now be asking yourself why I’m still a Mormon. Let me try to explain.

The Church is an organization that exists in an imperfect world and is run by imperfect men. The leaders of the Church are old, conservative Americans for the most part. Of course they oppose gay marriage. Of course they’re Creationists. General authorities are usually retired professionals who were successful in their areas of expertise. It’s not surprising that they run the non-ecclesiastical aspects of the Church like a business. Excluding people who are different than you is a basic human instinct. It’s an instinct that should be overcome, but it’s still there. That’s why Mormons tend to identify more with other Mormons and seek out their friendship. I’m not proud of it, but it’s there, and I think any social group, religious or otherwise, has those tendencies.

The bottom line, though, is that the Holy Ghost keeps telling me that the Church is true. It’s a feeling I can’t quite explain, but I’ve felt it numerous times. I’ll be close to deciding that the Church isn’t true, and God will say, “Nope. It’s true, Mike, and you know it.” (That’s not how it literally happened, of course.)

I believe that Joseph Smith was a prophet, and that he translated the Book of Mormon and restored Christ’s Church on the earth.

I sustain Thomas S. Monson as President of the Church.

The Book of Mormon is a wonderful book full of truth and valuable lessons.

Most importantly, I believe that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior.

That is why I’m still a Mormon.

Things I Don't Like But Wish I Did

2011-05-25T20:15:00.000-07:00

Sara did this on her blog, so I figured I'd do it on mine, too.

Things I don't like but wish I did:
1. Mexican food
2. Exercise
3. Going to bed before 11:00
4. Top 40 music (it would make life so much easier)
5. Soccer

Things I like but wish I didn't:
1. Eating large amounts of fatty food
2. Golf (so expensive)
3. Speeding
4. Facebook

That's all I can think of, really. Not nearly as many as Sara, but it's something. I thought of one more thing for the "like but wish I didn't" list, but it's not appropriate for a family blog. It'll just be between me and Avril.

Baby Steps

2011-04-19T18:53:00.002-07:00

Hannah started walking shortly after her first birthday, making her the oldest one of our children has been when starting to walk. As the smallest of our kids, she's still under 20 lbs, packing her around isn't nearly as tiring as it was with the boys, who weighed that by 6 months. This week we finally caught it on film for your enjoyment.

Avril's 26th

2011-04-12T13:42:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday was Avril's 26th birthday, and the last birthday in our family until Kenny's in June. She started the day with a cuddle with Hannah.

Cuddling with Hannah is a great way to start any day.

I had to work in the afternoon, so we celebrated at lunch again, just as we did for my birthday and Alex's birthday. Avril's parents came by to help us celebrate. Avril was nice enough to request my favourite meal for her birthday feast: roast beef dinner. The cake was a team effort. It was a recipe neither of us had used before. I made the actual cake, and Avril decorated it with strawberries, whipped cream, and a chocolate glaze. It was very tasty.

After we ate, Avril got her presents.

I know what you're thinking: "Mike, you bought yourself a video game and justified a frivolous purchase by disguising it as a birthday present for you wife? For shame!" I'd just like to say that Avril likes playing video games just as much as I do, and she has been a fan of the Prince of Persia series since I bought The Sands of Time when we were newly weds. That game was 100% her choice.

So, that was the end of our early Spring Birthday Blitz. Now we can relax until June. Happy birthday, Avril! I love you!

Hannah's First

2011-04-06T17:42:00.001-07:00

Our March birthday's finished off with Hannah's first birthday. Grandma and Grandpa Laqua and Auntie Afton came out for out birthday supper

She was such a precious angel as we gave her, her cake. She wasn't to sure about blowing out the candle; she wanted to play with it instead. Then we cut it up and gave her a piece.

Then she turned into a little devil just for the camera.

After cake she opened her present. She knew what to do with this. At times she was so interested in pulling the tissue paper out of the bags that she failed to notice the presents wrapped in them.

She enjoyed having so may people around to pay attention to her and playing with her new cloths. She liked the toys too.

So now our sweet little baby girl is 1 year old.

Alex's Third

2011-03-28T15:53:00.000-07:00

The second birthday in our Spring Birthday Blitz is behind us. Last Thursday, Alex turned three years old. That's a Bob-omb cake, for those of you who don't know all of your Mario villians. The figurines on the table were a gift to Alex from Kenny.

I had to work that day, so we celebrated his birthday at lunch instead of at supper. We hadn't dressed the kids yet, so they're still in their pajamas for most of these pictures. We had chicken nuggets and french fries, which is one of Alex's favourite meals. After lunch, Alex opened his presents. Aside from the Mario Bros. figurines, he got the movie "Mega Mind":

A set of Nerf guns, which we all put to good use:

A set of Playdoh:

And, later in the day when Auntie Afton came over, a Robert Munsch book:

After opening the presents (except for the one from Afton), we ate some cake just before I went to work. Alex refused to try to blow the candles out, so he got some help from Kenny.

Next up is Hannah's first birthday. It's actually today, but we won't celebrate until Avril gets home from work, so I don't have any pictures. Stay tuned, though!

MiKenzie Birthday Madness

2011-03-23T19:35:00.000-07:00

MiKenzie Birthday Madness offically launched off on Sunday. We openned with Mike's 33rd birthday.

The Government randomly gave us money in January and we saved it so that we could buy Birthday Presents. Mike got to pick his own presents this year. A nice shiny new pair of running shoes and a video game (Just Cause 2). Just look at the happy birthday boy...

...oh wait he's not really smiling in that picture is he. Here's a smiling one, but that's not a boy, hmmmm.
Hannah enjoyed the cake.

Events continue tomorrow with Alex's 3rd birthday and then we'll see if we still want cake by Monday when Hannah turns 1. Hopefully the breather between March 28th and April 9th is enough for yet another cake for my birthday.

Stay tuned for more chocolatey goodness.

Bassinet Baby

2011-03-22T09:02:00.000-07:00

The kids have started all playing 'together' in a specific room. The other day they were playing in Hannah's room. Kenny came out to tell me that the Hannah was in the bottom of her baby bed. I took this to mean she had crawled under her crib again. It's a favorite game for all of them. 10 minutes later when I finally went to investigate this is what I found...

That is certainly not her crib she's under. I'm not quite sure how she got in, but they all loved it. Kenny wanted a turn after I pulled her out, but was forbidden the opportunity. 20 lbs the cloth basket can handle, 40 I don't think so.

Adventures in 2011

2011-03-10T15:45:00.001-08:00

Been a fun year so far. There is aways someone sick in our house. In January Alex took it to the next level by bringing Pink Eye home from church.

The doctor we saw was kind enough to prerscrib oral meds for this. He past it on to Kenny within two days and Kenny was not so lucky. Eye drops and 4-year-olds are not fun. Even less fun was when Alex's meds ran out and we gave him eye drops too.

Miraculously, Hannah, Mike and I didn't get it....Until one month later. Hannah was by far the easiest child to medicate.

In happyer news. Kenny has been learing to write all his letters and we registered him in Kindergarden last week. He's very excited for September to come.

Hannah is on her way to walking. She moves along the furniture and pushed odjects around for support as she practices.

We're gearing up for Birthday Madness at the end of the month as all but Kenny will be celebrating. There is going to be a lot of cake around here.

Replacement Author

2011-02-01T20:18:00.000-08:00

I wasn't sure which blog to post this on, since it is neither funny nor does it have anything to do with my family. I ultimately decided to post it here because hyperblogianism is more of an exercise in characterization, creative writing, and humor than it is a journal.

I have been an avid reader since I was 15 years old. It started in 1993 at the end of the ninth grade when I discovered the novel Boy's Life by Robert R. McCammon. I loved that book, and after I was finished, I raided my mother's collection of novels (she's a more avid reader than I am) for more books written for an adult audience. I was never really on board with novels targeted at children and teenagers. It was that summer that I read my first books written by Orson Scott Card and Stephen King, the two authors who I, as an amateur writer, get most of my inspiration from. Since the mid '90s until the present, my three favourite authors have been Stephen King, Orson Scott Card, and Dean Koontz. I have read and enjoyed novels by other authors, but these three have always been my go-to guys.

One problem, though. They're getting old. King has even threatened retirement at time, and he actually almost died in 1999 before completing The Dark Tower series. And, I hate to say it, but as they're marching into senior citizenship, they're starting to lose their edge. Koontz is insanely prolific, almost to the point of being formulaic and predictable. One could argue that King is, stylistically, at his best right now, but he's also 63 years old, and his age shows in his writing. I have two complaints with Card. For one thing, he can't leave Ender Wiggin alone. And for another thing, he seems to be getting more right-wing while I find myself drifting further to the left.

In past years, I've wondered whose books I'm going to read when the time comes that my three favourite authors, who are old enough to be my parents, either retire or die. Oddly enough, I discovered a new favourite author because another author I like (Robert Jordan) died. Avril has been reading Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time fantasy series since she was a teenager, and I picked it up myself in 2006. It's the first classic sword-and-sorcery type fantasy that I've read, and I found myself loving it. Unfortunately, Jordan died in 2007 after the eleventh novel in the series was published. He knew he was dying, and he made extensive notes and shared all of the major details of the remainder of the series with his family. His wife, who is an editor for Tor publishing read a story called Mistborn, and decided that the author of it, Brandon Sanderson, would be perfect for finishing The Wheel of Time. I read about this, and decided to check out Sanderson's first book, Elantris. Reading the blurbs and the about-the-author, I deduced (correctly) that he's LDS (he lives in Utah, teaches at BYU, and there was an Orson Scott Card quote on the front cover). I loved the book. So did Avril. We have read everything else he had published (which isn't much, yet) prior to taking over The Wheel of Time except for his series of books aimed at young teenagers. Currently, I'm reading The Way of Kings, which is the first book in what will be his own massive multi-volume series called The Stormlight Archive, and Avril is reading book 12 of The Wheel of Time. The best thing about him? He's only three years old than I am, so if I outlive him, it probably won't be by long.

So, in short, Brandon Sanderson is the latest addition to my list of favourite authors, and I highly recommend that you read his books.

Christmas...I'm only a month late getting these up.

2011-01-19T18:04:00.000-08:00

It's been a busy month and I haven't found much time to get onto the computer but I figure I should get at least a few of these up, even if they are a month overdue.

We spent Christmas morning at home and then headed over to my parent's house in the evening to see all of my family. Here's a smattering of photographic evidence.

We started with stockings...

Alex (yes that is a black eye)

Kenny

Hannah

Mike

Then Mike made us breakfast...

Then we got to open presents...

Kenny

Alex

Hannah with help from Daddy

Avril

Once the tree was emptied Hannah took one trip around the tree and pulled off as many candy canes as she could...

She had been trying to do that for 3 1/2 weeks and was very proud of herself.

We didn't get very good pictures of the evening festivities, but the kids (and adults) sure had fun staying up late playing with cousins.

Chess

2010-12-24T09:28:00.000-08:00

If Kenny has a favorite activity while visiting his Auntie Afton on Mondays it's playing chess. For a 4-year-old he's pretty good. Afton makes him follow the rules and he even "wins" sometimes. We do not own a chess board and have no intention of getting one. It's simply not as fun to have one at home.

Yesterday, while doing my Christmas cleaning, I found a small fake tree. This tree instantly became a chess piece which the boys moved around the surface of a hard covered book. The further they got into their game the more it became Kenny's only piece and Alex was imagining all of his pieces.

As I sat watching them play Alex reached beside the book and picked up one of his imaginary pieces and proceeds to place it on the board causing Kenny to shout. "No Alex you can't do that! Alex put it back! That one's dead already! Alex!" So Alex removed the errant piece off of the board.

Oh to have that kind of imagination that you even respond to the other persons pretends.

Christmas Approaches

2010-12-15T10:44:00.000-08:00

I read Mary's blog today, and figured I should do my own Christmas post. She did a great job describing the nostalgia of my Christmas childhood (she and I are less than two years apart in age, so our childhood Christmas experiences are basically identical), so if you want more details on that, visit her blog by following the link I provided on her name.

On one of my days off near the end of November, while Avril was at work, I pulled the Christmas decorations out of the storage room. The boys were pleased and helped me set out the decorations. Our nicest decoration I would have to say is our bronze tea light nativity set.

Since we've been married, I've been gradually trying to get Avril to be okay with an artificial tree. Don't get me wrong; I love real Christmas trees. It's just that the fuss of getting them perfectly into the tree stand, keeping them watered, and constantly cleaning up the needles gets tiresome. Last year, while I was working in Edmonton, Avril's parents bought us a Christmas tree. It was a nice tree, but it wasn't a Nova Scotia spruce, which is what I usually buy, and Avril had an allergic reaction to it. So she was much more willing to get an artificial tree. So, again while she was at work and I was home with the kids, I went out and bought an artificial tree. I set it up and put the lights on it, and waited until later in the evening to put the rest of the decorations on it. The boys gladly helped, and Avril came home (later than I expected, which is why we started without her) and helped us finish.

Like Mary, I inherited some old decorations from Mum to add to my own tree. Among my favourites are the first egg with my name on it:

...and the egg with my six-year-old face in it:

Unfortunately, there was a casualty this year. I unwrapped the ceramic toy soldier I painted when I was 12 and found it cracked.

I plan on gluing it together again, but I haven't gotten around to it yet.

Hannah's favourite decoration is anything she can reach.

We have to block off the tree so that she can't wreak havoc on the tree, the decorations, and the presents beneath it. She's wily, though, so we have to watch her like a hawk when she's in the living room.

Besides decorating, we're always sure to do some baking during the holidays. Aside from homemade marshmallows, my favourite Christmas baked good growing up was sour cream cookies, and I try to make them at least once every December. The boys always insist on helping, which is fine by me.

I have pretty good baking skills, especially for a dude, but I can't decorate worth crap. Remember the cake I made myself for my 32nd birthday? That's what happens when I mess with icing. So when it came to decorating the cookies, I let Avril take the lead.

Avril brought with her some of her own Christmas traditions, including making chocolates. One evening while I was at work, she and the boys melted some chocolate and poured it into little paper cups with peanuts, walnuts, raisins, and Skor bits.

So we've done some baking, we've decorated, and we've finished buying our Christmas presents. Now we just get to sit back, listen to Christmas music, and wait for Christmas.

Also, just because, look at how pretty my little girl's eyes are:

A Busy Week

2010-12-02T09:04:00.000-08:00

Last Monday, I started working again, part-time, as a legal secretary. Mike and I work mostly opposite days and shifts so one of us is almost always with the kids. On Monday afternoons we overlap and my sister Afton watches the kids for us. We are very grateful for all she does and that everything seems to be working in our favor for once.

On Tuesday night we got a call from Edmonton from some of my in-laws. The family adult Christmas party was the coming weekend and we were not planning on attending. They offered to bear our costs, the reason we were not attending, so that we could come. So my already stressful weeks was intensified.

We left Friday when I finished work. The Chinook wind had melted the roads nicely during the day, but once night fell it froze the highways. It took me 45 minutes to get home. Then it took us an hour to get from home to highway 2 (usually a 20 minute drive). Once we got to the #2, the roads were fine.

This kids slept most of the way up, which was a blessing and a curse. We got to Sara and Quincey's house just after midnight with some well rested children. 2 hours later we finally got everyone to sleep. Kenny still woke up at 6:30 in the morning. Thank goodness Auntie Sara was up with her baby so we didn't have to get up with him.

Hannah got to meet her baby cousins. She's the oldest of this years batch, but somehow seems to be the smallest.

6 month old Tate with 8 month old Hannah

4 month old Quinn

Kenny and I crashed a bit in the early afternoon.

Alex and Eloise playing 'together'

Kenny exercising while Max plays video games.

The kids had so much fun with their cousins and were very sad to leave. It was really nice to see everyone. I hope we can make it up again soon.

Snow, Snow, Snow

2010-12-02T08:45:00.000-08:00

I finally remembered to take the camera out while playing in the snow. The boys have so much fun out there. Alex doesn't have a proper snowsuit so he doesn't last as long as Kenny, but he still has a lot of fun.

Kenny and Alex bundled up for their first outing into the snow.

Alex with a snow encrusted toy.

Kenny decided to dig out the big snow drift.

The wind that day covered the shoveled walk withing minutes of shoveling.

Snow blowing in Alex's face. This ultimately caused him to retreat to the house.

This is how I found Kenny after delivering Alex in to the warmth of the house. Mmm Snow. We didn't last too much longer than this.

A Growing Girl

2010-12-02T08:23:00.000-08:00

Hannah's 8 months old as of this last weekend. She still ways in light and is very petite, but that brings it's own set of adventures. She still isn't crawling, but for almost 2 months now she's been very mobile. She pulls herself around to where ever she wants to go. About two weeks ago she learned a new trick.

She can sit up on her own now. So she'll drag herself to where she wants to be and sit up. She is extremely happy about it. On Thursday of last week she surprised us again by doing this...

She pulls herself up on anything she can now. She's two month ahead of the boys on this. As a light weight her muscles have the strength to do this.

And just for fun here are some pictures of the boys boxing.

Spiders and Other Hallowe'en Fun

2010-11-04T11:18:00.000-07:00

The week before Hallowe'en we borrowed some spider decorations from my mother (picture below). All week the boys would grab it and wrestle with the "Big Spider Boss".

On Hallowe'en night after we had gone out and got sugared up we were winding down with a movie. Before we started I sent Kenny to the bathroom. As he started to wash his hands he started screaming. My initial thought was that the water was too warm (he will only wash his hands in cold water) so I went the the bathroom to rescue him as he continued to scream.

Turns out a small spider had crawled out of the drain and Kenny was cowering beside the bathtub. I guess wrestling with a fake spider that is the same size as you just isn't the same as facing down the real thing even if it is smaller than your thumbnail.

On a lighter note here as some pictures of our Hallowe'en fun for those of you who didn't see it on Facebook.

We carved up some pumpkins on Friday night. They later became delicious pumpkin pie.

The kids dressed in theme this year. Above we have Luigi (Kenny) holding Princess Peach (Hannah) and below we have Mario (Alex) who is very proud of his gloves.

Our Ward had a Trunk or Treat on Saturday night but we still managed to get half way around the block on Sunday.

Monday morning Hannah stole Daddy's sucker and had a taste for herself. She wasn't too happy about us taking the sucker away though.

Helping Hands

2010-10-24T18:21:00.000-07:00

Ever feel like your assistant is more of a hindrance and an aid. Here are some of the helping hands around our house.

Alex helping Mike install a baby gate.

Hannah investigating the dish washer.

The camera was missing while the boys were helping me bake yesterday. Now there's a job they can actually help with.

Memories of the '80s

2010-10-18T16:35:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to get me blogging more often, I've decided that once a week I'll post a fond or funny childhood memory. The first one is from 1983 when we were living in Fall River, Nova Scotia. I'm not sure what brought this memory back to me, but I was thinking about it this morning as I drove home from Lethbridge. My best friend in Fall River was a boy named Michael Fiander. He came over to play one day, and for some reason there were a bunch of styrofoam pieces around the house. We, of course, used them as swords and beat each other with them mercilessly. It made a horrible mess, and when Dad discovered it, he told me that if it wasn't cleaned up by suppertime, I was getting a spanking. Not just any old spanking, either. It would be a BARE-BUM spanking!

Suppertime rolled around, and I hadn't touched the tiny bits of styrofoam scattered around the basement. I ate supper quickly, and left the table as soon as I was done. I ran to my room and hid under the bed. I was under there for quite some time. I didn't fall asleep, but I waited around with the patience of a child fearing his father's hard hand. After a while, the family wondered where I was. I listened to my mother and sisters looking for me around the house, and eventually going outside and calling for me. I refused to leave my hiding place. Eventually, someone thought to look under the bed, where they assumed I had fallen asleep. I let everyone believe that I had been napping rather than hiding. Everyone seemed so relieved to see me that the promised spanking was forgotten, and I was given a treat.

So, kids, if you're ever in trouble, disappear for a while so that everyone will miss you too much to be mad at you.

A Week of Thanksgiving

2010-10-09T18:42:00.000-07:00

I'd like to recount the things I'm thankful for from this past week. We've had a rough year and looking back there isn't much to be overly thankful for, but If I look at a small enough period of time there is much to be thankful for.

Mike lets me sleep in, or rather go back to sleep, most morning after waking up with the baby twice a night. He also lets me escape the house alone at least once a week and cooks supper at least every other day.

Kenny picks me flowers. The only kind he can find.

Alex has an annoying dependence on chocolate milk, but he is so cute about it. He asks for "chocat milk" at least 10 times a day and is always grateful once he receives it.

I love my boys.

I also love my girl.

Hannah is such a happy baby. She may keep me up at night and demand to be held half the day, but she always has a smile for me. She's pulling herself around now in an attempt to crawl and she sat for the first time unaided on Saturday.

I love my house. My sister has lent me hours of entertainment and is always there to talk when I need her. Mom and Dad are always willing to watch my kids if I need them to.

Thank you all.

ABCs

2010-10-09T09:28:00.000-07:00

Okay, first of all, this is Mike writing. Secondly, I'm doing this at Mum's request. Hope you find it interesting.

A - Age: 32 (Mum - 30 = my age)

B - Bed size: Queen

C - Chore you hate: Washing dishes

D - Dogs names: I had a dog for three weeks when I was 16, and I don't think the family ever really decided on a name before Dad gave him away.

E - Essential start your day item: Pants

F - Favorite colour: Blue and black

G - Gold or Silver: Gold, I guess.

H - Height: 5' 7 3/4"

I - Instruments you play: Guitar and bass guitar. Poorly.

J - Job title: Senior Representative

K - Kids: Two boys and one girl

L - Living arrangements: Four bedroom duplex.

M - Mother's Name: Millicent Patricia (Pat)

N - Nicknames: Moike is the most prominent.

O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Dehydration (three times) in the Philippines.

P - Pet Peeve: Southern Alberta drivers.

Q - Quote from a movie: "Of course I'm mad with power. Have you ever tried going mad without power? It's boring. Nobody listens to you."

R - Right or left handed: Right

S - Siblings: one older brother, three older sisters, and two younger sisters.

T - Time you wake up: Between 6:30 and 9:00, depending on the kids.

U - Underwear: Mormony

V - Vegetable you dislike: Peas

W - What makes you run late: Kids

X - X-rays you've had: Teeth, wrists, head, chest, abdomen, heel.

Y - Yummy food you make: My cookies are legendary. I also make a pretty mean black forest cake, and I'm quite fond of my simplified pepper steak.

Z - Zoo animal: Tiger

Six Months

2010-10-02T14:48:00.000-07:00

Big week in the MacKenzie house. Kenny has finally reached 40 lbs. and has since been begging for a new booster seat. He dislikes the fact that his car seat converts into one.

Alex and Hannah have both celebrated their half birthdays. I'm half way through those terrible twos again, yay!

Alex's language skills are coming along. He's a parrot most days. Unlike most two-year-olds "no" is not his favorite word. He says neither "no" nor "yes" instead he growls "don't want to" or smiles and gets all excited. He is a rough and tumble kid who can't help getting hurt every five minutes.

Hannah received the glorious gift of a needle for her half birthday and boy was she excited. She cried for maybe 30 seconds before stealing the toy from the health nurse and becoming her cheerful self once more. She weighed in at 16 lbs. 6 oz., a size which Kenny obtained by the four month mark. She is a sassy little thing who spends her time pulling herself across rooms after balls, exercising in her jolly jumper, and testing gravity from her high chair.

Carpet

2010-09-25T18:34:00.000-07:00

Anyone remember a couple of months ago when this happened?

This week we finally got our new floor. Rough as the boys are we decided to go with carpet because they will do it less damage than they will a laminate floor. It will also do our possessions a little less damage as Alex (and at times Kenny) has a habit of dropping things for no reason but to hear the thud.

Wednesday night we cleaned up the basement and Thursday morning we moved all the furniture into the office and the laundry room. The kids really enjoyed the empty rooms and the echo.

By the end of Thursday they hadn't quite finished the job leaving it looking like this. They couldn't come back until today so we packed the kids up and headed to my parent's house so that it wasn't a constant battle keeping the boys out of the basement. Never mind the fact the their bedroom was the least finished area.

This morning we rushed home so that they could finished the job. There is still a little work do be done at the entrance to the office, but they can't do that the it's empty.

We decided to take this opportunity to rearrange the furniture and get rid of some excess pieces we had. My mother and sister have some excess pieces of their own that I'll be taking off their hands in the next week so my house can be nice and comfortable again. Thanks gals.

So here is our new basement.

A Walk to the Park

2010-09-14T09:36:00.000-07:00

It is a little late to be setting this goal this year but here we go. I'm going to try to take the kids to the park twice a week. Hannah's gotten big enough that I don't feel so bad bringing her along and exposing her to the elements.

Here is trip number one. It's a three block walk to the nearest school play ground.

Alex and Kenny running ahead

Hannah eventually fell asleep in her stroller so that Mike and I could play with the boys. They had a fun time.

As the sun began to set we decided it was time to head for home.

The boys stopped to wrestle in the grass on the way.

Hannah was happy to get home and be free. Even if free is wrapping yourself up in a blanket so that you can't move.

Evil Alternate Universe Alex

2010-09-07T12:18:00.000-07:00

With lunch today we had dessert. Rich chocolate ice cream cones. It ended up looking something like this...

Mike

Kenny

Alex

Moments later Alex looked at the fly walking among the crumbs on the table grabbed his milk and said "Mine!". Mike dubbed him "Evil Alternate Universe Alex" because of his beautiful goatee and his maniacal little smile.

Memory Lane

2010-09-03T08:36:00.000-07:00

A few days ago we were looking for a free activity to take the kids on. So we decided to drive into Lethbridge to go to a park. We drove by a couple parks that were way too busy. Trying to think up a different destination we found ourselves in the neighbourhood we lived in when Kenny was born. We remembered that right across the street from the little four-plex we lived in was a beautiful green strip. So we altered course and headed for Redwood Park.

We had a light picnic snack and then the boys went exploring with Daddy while Mommy sat with the baby. What did they find???

Mushrooms

It made for a nice little break fome being home. It was also a nice walk down memory lane.

A Day at the Fair

2010-08-27T18:11:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend we had Jamboree Days and were able to have fun in our "home town". One day after the festivities ended here they struck up in nearby Lethbridge. We skipped out on the Parade and aren't planning to attend the fireworks as we have already just done that. What we did do was spend a day at the fair.

Mike with cool dude Alex

We spent three hours in the blistering hot sun escorting our children from ride to ride. This was Kenny's second year at Whoop-Up Days so he was a pro. He just wasn't big enough to go on all the rides he wanted to. Next year he can be more adventurous.

This was essentially Alex's first year. Last year he went on the Merry-Go-Round and spent the whole time trying to squirm off of Grampa's lap. The year we gave it a try again.

He spent the first three rounds screaming for me to come and get him off. When mike finally got him to calm down he enjoyed the ride.

His enjoyment was hit and miss. One ride had to be stopped for him to get off and one was spent on Mommy's lap. He had a fun day.

Hannah had a horrible day. This is how I found out that she had woken up from her nap.

She was good for the first hour after this and then screamed if we move the stroller with her in it. She fell asleep on the walk to the car after the fun was over. At least she didn't scream all the way home.

I suffered from a bit of heat exhaustion but everyone else did fine on this hot outing. The kids had fun, so did we, and we came home with some delicious fudge. Mmmm.

Jamboree Days

2010-08-22T19:57:00.000-07:00

This weekend was the Picture Butte's annual Jamboree Days. This year was the 50th anniversary of the Town of Picture Butte. Mike was busy all weekend so he missed out on the fun. It also meant that I was doing this by myself.

The festivities kicked off with a tractor pull and a dance, neither of which we attended. What we did attend on Day 1 was the fireworks. The fireworks were scheduled to start at 10:00 p.m. The boys' bed time is 8:30. To prepare to keep the kids up I planned a late supper followed an hour or so later by cookies. It worked pretty well. Kenny, who remembered what fireworks are, was excited.

I was a little worried about how my 5 month old baby was going to handle this, so I called for help. I was lucky enough to catch my sister as she left work at 9:00 to come and join us. Giving her just enough time to drive out and have a snack while I got the kids ready.

The fireworks are only a couple blocks from the house so we decided to watch from the front lawn. Shortly before 10:00 we headed out to set up and wait for the show to start.

Kenny and Auntie

A very sleepy Alex

When the fireworks started we couldn't see too well due to our neighbour's trees so we moved a few yards to Afton's car. Where we could see most of it. What we couldn't see was mostly behind a weeping willow so the effect was that of a "burning bush".

It was a great display. As it was the 50th anniversary, they put extra money into it. Both of the boys loved it. Hannah was completely indifferent. She was looking at the car and the grass as often as she was looking at the pretty lights. I am glad I didn't take her closer though. It was loud enough as it was.

The kids were up past 11:00 that night but it didn't stop them from waking up before 7:00 the next morning.

Saturday was a cold and rainy day. We bundled up warm and walked the three blocks to the parade even though I couldn't find the umbrella. We got there early and it was cold so we walked up and down the block a couple of times before we picked a spot to sit. We found a nice tree to sit under.

Alex and Kenny

Hannah and Kenny

Tuned out that we had chosen a spot right at the end on the parade, but only half a block away from the beginning. As the boys couldn't wait we walked to the end of the block to watch and collect candy.

There was a lot more competition at this parade that there was at their last so they didn't end up with as much candy. Kenny did however slow the parade down to retrieve a candy from the middle of the road. There was a bit of a gap and Ken decided to go for it. Luckily the float was far enough away to see him and stop while he ran back to me.

Once the parade had passed we worked our way back down the block so we would not get caught by it on it's way back. We could have waited like some others for a second go, but why bother.

There were some childrens' activities schedule on the other side of town, but I decided that it was too far a walk on a wet day so we went home to enjoy our loot.

So ended our participation in Jamboree Days. The boys had fun, and we were kept just busy enough to not drive each other crazy while Daddy was away.

Raspberries

2010-08-20T14:41:00.000-07:00

Every couple of years the health professionals come out with new (or just different) rules about raising your children. With my most recent child the new rule that was stressed to us was not letting your child sleep in there carrier car seat.

One rule that has stayed the same for all of my children but I have never adhered to is that they are to have no 'solid' food until they are six months old. This rule comes with the proviso that you watch for the signs that your child is ready to eat. I don't think any child would make it to six months under those circumstances. As such Kenny ate at two months, Alex at five months, and Hannah at four months.

About two weeks ago I started feeding Hannah. Every time we ate she wanted some too, so I got her some food. Of course she didn't know what to do with it the first couple of times I feed her so she decided to do her favorite thing... blow raspberries.

This is a new experience for me. The boys were both very tidy eaters. They still are. Sure they would spit out some food but it would stay on their chin or at worst their bib. Hannah sends food flying half way across the room. I wash the floor after washing here face. Thankfully she has now decided to eat most of the food, but that doesn't stop her from spraying the kitchen with at least one pea filled raspberry when she decides that she is finished with her meal.

Posted by Avril

Wasps

2010-08-18T12:17:00.000-07:00

Since Mike is exploring other creative outlets, he has abandoned the Company blog. As the apparent CEO of the Company, I (Avril) will attempt to fill some of the gaps here.

About three weeks ago we were 'camping' at my parents cabin. We were arrogant enough to eat fruit on the back deck, despite the two wasps nests. Promptly one of the critters came for Kenny's banana. Naturally, Kenny freaked out and shook his hand, causing the wasp to react and sting him. Much screaming ensued. The whole family made for the house and my father destroyed the wasps nests. Kenny refused to come outside again and instead watched a movie with a cold compress on his hand. He recovered in a couple of hours with no harm done.

Yesterday we went grocery shopping. While we were unloading the car the boys went to the back yard to play. They were having so much fun that we left them out there once we were done.

Mike and I were just settling down and going to pick a movie when Kenny and Alex started screaming. The boys worked their way to the house while Mike worked his way up the stairs. Kenny had been stung again, this time on his eyelid. Alex was extremely distressed at Kenny's state of panic.

So our relaxing afternoon disappeared. Kenny curled up on Daddy's lap to watch a movie while I made up a cold compress. Recovery this time is going much slower. It wasn't 'till this morning that Ken stopped complaining of pain and would let us touch his forehead and nose. He also has the most beautiful shiner.

The swelling had stared to go down by the time we took this picture. Poor kid.

Victoria Day Long Weekend

2010-05-26T15:31:00.000-07:00

After church on Sunday, Avril, the boys, Hannah, and I loaded into the car and drove to Avril's parents' cabin up at Lee Lake out near Crow's Nest Pass. Avril's parents and Afton were already there. The first thing Kenny wanted to do as soon as we got there was go fishing with Grampa, so he dragged Grampa out to the dock, Alex tagging along, and went fishing.

The boys' rods didn't have any hooks on the lines, but they had a lot of fun putting their lines in the water and reeling them in. Kenny actually got pretty good at casting.

Whenever Don got a fish on his line, he'd have Kenny reel it in. They caught three that first evening.

The next morning, Kenny and Alex were back out at the dock with Don doing some more fishing. I was watching from the back porch of the cabin. When they caught a fish, they called up to me and said they needed a bucket, so I took it down to them. Right after I got there, I turned to around just in time to see Alex fall head-first off the dock and into the chilly water. It was only about two or three feet deep of water, but that's more than enough to drown a two-year-old, so I dropped quickly to my knees, grabbed his hood and yanked him out of the water. He was gasping and screaming, but he was fine. As I carried him dripping wet back to the house, he stopped crying and said, "Okay. Okay." I took him inside and stripped him down in front of the wood stove. While I changed my own soggy clothes, Avril dried him off, wrapped him in a blanket, and sat with him in front of the fire. I noticed later that I had bent one of my fingernails back when I pulled him out of the water, but otherwise, everybody was fine.

The rest of the weekend was uneventful. We just enjoyed one another's company, playing board games, reading, and relaxing. We came home yesterday evening. Alex has a cold now. Whether it's because of his dip in the lake or if he would have gotten sick regardless is a mystery.

Random Photos of May. Possibly April, Too.

2010-05-14T12:50:00.000-07:00

I don't really have much to say, but I'd figured you'd like to see some photos that we've have taken in the past month or so.

Kenny, Hannah, and Naomi.

Hannah in her Snugli. Also, Alex with Avril's shoes.

Me with Hannah and Alex.

Kenny and Alex wrestling.

Alex, Hannah, and Kenny.

Hannah.

Happy Hannah.

Avril emerges from beneath the pink blanket.

And that's all for now. Just a reminder that, although she's not the youngest grandchild anymore, she's still around and still really cute. Welcome to the family, Tate! Can't wait to meet you!

Take THAT, Arizona!

2010-04-01T08:38:00.000-07:00

I had some time between appointments for work yesterday, so I went for a walk through the coulees. I headed up this path:
All of these pictures I'm showing you were taken with my phone, so please forgive the poor quality. Anyway, as I was walking up the path, I saw something growing on the north slope:
Cactus! Since Mum's always going to Arizona and taking pictures of cacti, I figured I should do the same on my quick little Lethbridge adventure. I also took this picture of the High Level Bridge:
And I took this picture. You can see Highway 3 in the distance close to where the turn-off you take to get to Picture Butte:

Banana Flower

2010-03-29T15:18:00.000-07:00

I went to bed at 1:00 Sunday morning. Being tired, I fell asleep immediately. An hour later, Avril woke me up by saying, "I think I'm in labour."

"Are you sure?" I replied, remembering two Sundays previous when we drove to the hospital in Lethbridge only to get turned away because it was false labour. She was sure, so we called Avril's mother to come watch the boys. As we waited for Evelyn to drive to Picture Butte from Stirling, I watched Avril having contractions on the couch and became sure myself that it wasn't false labour.

We arrived at the hospital at about 3:15 AM. The nurse checked her in the room where the pregnant ladies first go, and we ended up not staying in there for more than five minutes before she moved us into a delivery suite. I settled into my chair and prepared myself for a few hours of labour, figuring this would be over quicker than our first two babies. I figured the baby would arrive sometime around 8:00 or 9:00.

At around 4:25 AM, the doctor on call (Avril's regular obstetrician was away for the weekend) came in and popped Avril's water because it never breaks on its own. As he was leaving the room, he said, "I'll see you in a little while. It won't be much longer." I figured that Avril would go into the pushing phase of labour in an hour, and that the baby might be born at 6:00 instead of at 8:00 or 9:00. That would give me some time to read from my new book.

Before I could go digging in Avril's bag for my book, Avril started screaming. Concerned, I stood up and went to her side to hold her hand. She kept screaming. "Don't push," the nurse said. "There's still some cervix there." Avril screamed something along the lines of "I'm not! I can't stop!" The rest of the screaming had no words. One of the nurses ran out the door and called the doctor back.

I was looking at Avril's face this whole time. As the doctor rushed into the room, the nurse who had been in charge said, "We have a head."

Oh, I thought to myself. The baby's head is crowning. I looked down in time to see the doctor pull my daughter completely out. When the nurse said we had a head, she didn't mean that the head was crowning; the head was out! Less than ten minutes after the doctor popped Avril's water, Hannah Rose MacKenzie, my first daughter, was born at 4:32 AM on March 28, 2010.

Here's how my thoughts went starting from the time Avril was screaming: Oh, man, this is going to be a tough labour. There wasn't time for an epidural. If she's in this much pain now, I don't know how she's going to la-- Oh! Oh, she's done! Well...great!

She was 7 pounds and 10 ounces. Her head was 35.5 cm around and she was 54 cm (21.3 inches) long. Our smallest baby yet. Also, she has a bunch of dark hair, which just looks weird to me. Have you ever seen the SNL commercial for baby toupees? That's what it reminds me of, because I'm used to bald babies.

We brought her home this afternoon. She and Avril are both fine. Avril is actually amazed at how well she's feeling. The only thing wrong with Hannah is a little blood blister on one of her fingers that she was born with.

Some people may recall that when we were thinking up names, we were going to spell it Hanna instead of Hannah. There are three reasons why we changed our minds:

1. We didn't want everybody spelling her name wrong for the rest of her life.
2. I thought that a palindrome name would be cool.
3. Nickelback is from Hanna, Alberta.

Enjoy the pictures, and feel free to steal them.

Birthday Season

2010-03-26T18:09:00.001-07:00

Birthday season is upon us here in the MiKenzie household. First up was my birthday on March 20. I turned 32.
I made my own cake for two reasons: 1) Avril is very, very pregnant, and 2) I like to make Mum's black midnight cake. Alex and Kenny, of course, had to help me. I didn't let the cream filling cool for long enough, so the finished cake didn't look as pretty as it could have, but it sure tasted good.
Then, on the 24th, it was Lex's 2nd birthday.
He got cars.
Avril's birthday is on April 9, and we'll have a baby born sometime between now and then.

New Roommates

2009-11-22T21:37:00.001-08:00

It's funny. When a man gets fired, chronicling his life is one of the last things he wants to do. Hence the complete abandonment of my blog for well over a month. Pretty much everyone knows that I lost my job in Picture Butte, so I won't dwell on it. Let's just say that I'm now in Edmonton, returning to Photo Gift World as the Retail General Manager. I'm living in Sara's basement while Avril and the boys remain in Picture Butte for now. They'll move up here to join me sometime in the new year.

Sara was nice enough to give me her old camera, which is a very nice one, so I figured now that I have a camera nicer than my cell phone, I should return to blogging.
The house that Sara and her family live in is the house that my parents lived in when I was in my early 20s. I'm back in my old room, the last room that I ever stayed in while living with my parents. The walls are even still the same colour that I painted them back in 2001, and some of the furniture (the night stand in the above picture, for instance) is even the same furniture I had used since I was 13. I must admit, it's rather strange. It's almost like I've slipped back through time: I'm living like a single man in my old room with my old furniture in my old hometown.

Although, there is one difference this time: I have roommates.
Sara's two young cats, Percy and Mickey, get locked downstairs with my every night, and they like to keep me company.
Like I said, they're young cats, just barely out of kittenhood, but they've begun to mature. I've caught them starting to have sex on my bed three times now. One of those times was at 5:00 in the morning, and they were on my legs. I break them up each time, but who knows what they're up to when I'm not around? I reported this to Sara. Poor Percy doesn't know what's in store for him now.

Pooh Bear King

2009-10-07T23:10:00.000-07:00

When I was a young boy, I had a Winnie The Pooh teddy bear. It was one of my most cherished stuffed animals. My older brother, Rob, took his duties as a my only brother seriously. In other words, he was sure to tease me often. I was a good-natured kid, and I always knew that his teasing was in good fun, but I reacted as a typical child would react: it bothered me. Anyone in my immediately family remember Rob drowning in invisible bas? Why did the non-word "ba" bother me so much? Because I was little boy enduring harmless teasing from my big brother, whom I loved, and I knew he loved me in return.

Anyway, getting back to Winnie The Pooh. One of Rob's regular forms of teasing was the Pooh-Bear King. He would take Winnie The Pooh and give voice to a dark, tyrannical side of the lovable Disney character that you never see in the cartoons. Always yelling and slamming his head against the wall. Angry, angry little bear. I look back on the Pooh-Bear King with fondness. I feel lucky that my big brother's teasing was not only good-natured, but very unique and creative. The reason I'm thinking about the Pooh-Bear King right now is because I just stumbled over the following picture online:

Five Years

2009-09-20T18:07:00.000-07:00

September 17, 2009 marked the fifth anniversary of my marriage to Avril. A lot has happened in those five years. We've lived in seven different homes in five different towns. We have two wonderful sons and a third child on the way. I started and completed college, worked in two motels, and now I'm an assistant municipal administrator. On the whole, it's been a great five years, and I love Avril more today than on the day I married her.
To celebrate, Avril and I spent the weekend at her parents' cabin near Crowsnest Pass. Don and Evelyn were nice enough to watch Kenny and Alex for us, so we got to have some quality alone time. On Saturday, we went to see nearby Lundbreck Falls. We forgot to take our real camera, so all of the pictures are fairly poor quality because they were taken with my phone. Please, please forgive me. I'm so, so sorry.
The falls were beautiful, and the weather was nice. We had fun. We got to look from several different angles, too, and we climbed right down into the canyon they were in.
The rest of the weekend was blessedly relaxing. I did all of the cooking. I love cooking over an open fire. Those steaks were amazing! We took a canoe out on the lake, but after five minutes, a strong wind came up and blew us back to the dock. We read, played board games, I did crossword puzzles while Avril did Sudoku, and we watched The Office season 5 DVDs on my laptop.

Summer Rolls On

2009-09-17T20:12:00.000-07:00

With no kids in school, September is still summer for us. Yeah, I'm working, but it's still hot and the kids are always home.

Saturday was the Parkinson's Society Superwalk. Since Evelyn and Afton work for the society, and since Parkinson's greatly affected their family, Avril and I usually attend and volunteer at the registration table. The Superwalk was a success this year. Kenny got the second place prize for most pledges collected for children.
Later that afternoon, we went to Afton's house and met up with Noah and Heidi to play Rock Band: Beatles. We took the kids out back to run through the sprinkler. The younger kids weren't very into it, but Kenny and Isaac had a blast. Alex got sprayer once and didn't enjoy it, but he loved watching the older boys getting wet.
Oh, by the way, Rock Band: Beatles is awesome.

Catch Up

2009-08-26T21:26:00.001-07:00

I apologize to anyone who has been following my blog for the long stretch I've gone without updating. Let me try to catch you up to what's been going on for the last little while.

First off, the big news, which anyone who is friends with me on Facebook already knows: Avril is pregnant. We don't have an official due date yet, but the baby will most likely come in the first week of April. We just seem to love the spring birthdays in this family: Alex and me in March, Avril and this new baby in April, and Kenny in early June.

We had fun over the long weekend in August. All of the Laquas got together for a camping trip at a place called Reeser Lake in Cypress Hills provincial park southeast of Medicine Hat. Avril and her family went camping there all the time as she was growing up, and this is the first time in a while they've been back together since they've all been adults. We all had a good time, but I think Kenny had the most fun. All six of the Laqua grandchildren were there, and Kenny loved playing with his cousins. We went swimming a couple of times at nearby Elkwater Lake, and Kenny took to the water quite enthusiastically despite the chilly temperature. I pride myself for being the only adult in our group who actually swam, although I thought I was going to have a heart attack when I first went in over my head. It was cold.

The weather was mostly agreeable, but we did have quite the thunder storm early one morning that woke me up and lasted for a while. The campsite was in a valley, so the thunder was louder than what I'm used to out on the prairies. I slept poorly the entire weekend, actually, but I never sleep well when I go camping, and having young children just makes it worse. I enjoyed myself, anyway.

Last week was Whoop-Up Days in Lethbridge. I was never able to go myself, but Avril went with the boys and her father and sister one day while I was at work. It was Kenny's first real visit to a fair, and he loved it. He went on a lot of rides, some of them more than once. He especially loved any ride that resembled a train.

There was a petting zoo there, too, and the boys enjoyed that. Kenny's favourite animals were the pot-bellied pigs. He liked the sheep, too, even though one snuck up behind him and scared him with a loud baa. Whenever he tells someone about his day at the fair, he always mentions the noisy sheep.

Alex enjoyed himself, but he wasn't allowed on most of the rides. He made it onto the carroussel and a train, and he had fun at the petting zoo.

Kenny has started graduating from his pre-school DVDs and taking an interest in my movies. I have a small collection of animated movies based on DC Comics characters: Superman, Wonder Woman, and Green Lantern seem to be his favourites. The latter two are rated PG-13, so I'm a little nervous he might start slipping some words into his vocabulary that I might not approve of. Nothing so far, though. I don't think he understands what phrases like "I own your ass" mean, so he doesn't bother using them.

And, just because, here are some pictures of Kenny and I making cookies.

Train and Newspaper

2009-07-08T19:47:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm getting really bad at keeping this blog up to date. Too busy working, renovating, and playing video games. We went on a camping trip last weekend, but I'm waiting for pictures from Afton and Don before blogging about that. Stay tuned. In the meantime, I have two things to blog about.
I don't know why it took us so long to do this, but we finally took Kenny to see the steam engine on display at the health unit (the one that used to be a train station) in Lethbridge next to Chapters. He loved seeing a real steam engine up close. He has seen trains up close before, but they were ugly CN diesel engines.

Alex just loved running around outside and splashing in the puddles left from the rain earlier in the day.
A few weeks ago, I was featured in the Sunny South News (based out of Coaldale and circulating to most of Lethbridge County). The reporter who interviewed me is in my ward, and we found out as we spoke that I went to the same singles ward as her younger brother. The article didn't scan very well, so I'll just quote it here:

"The Town of Picture Butte is reaping the benefits from an internship program developed by Alberta's Municipal Affairs.

"Mike MacKenzie was studying business administration at Lethbridge College when he heard about the internship that allows students to work with municipalities and encourages them to consider careers in local government adminstration.

"It was during his final semester that municipal affairs came to the college for a career fair and he learned about the municipal internship program.

"'It's a great program.'

"He feels it can help students get their foot in the door with municipal governments. He had completed his local government administration training and year long internship working out of Trochu and Three Hills when he applied for the Assistant Administrator's position in Picture Butte.

"'I enjoy the small town feel.'

"He said his end goal was always to get involved in government and he saw business administration at the college as the first step.

"MacKenzie was born in BC but moved around a lot as a kid living in four different provinces, and managing to visit all but one, Newfoundland.

"'I've been all over the country.'

"Having lived in the Lethbridge area a few times over the years he decided he wanted to get back to Southern Alberta and Picture Butte afford him that opportunity. Now having relocated his family to the community he said he's found the town be nice and the people friendly.

"His wife, Avril grew up in Foremost so she also has a small town background. They have a couple of boys, the oldest Kenny is turning three and the youngest is 14-month-old Alex. Their family has already lived in six places so they feel now is a good time to set down some roots.

"'We actually bought a house which is good incentive to stay put.'

"Outside of his normal work week MacKenzie likes to write. If he can find the time he would like to become a published author of science fiction. He also likes to play the guitar and sing having performed with the Raymond Show Choir and the MT Vibes featuring 12 male voices.

"Music is something he shares with his wife who is classically trained."

The reporter also turned out to be related to Carol Dahl, so that's why the MT Vibes are mentioned. It's a pretty good article (more impressive than the two lines I got in the Three Hills Capital), even if my direct quotes weren't incorporated very smoothly and seemed to come out of nowhere. There's also a picture of me looking fat and smug, but like I said, the article didn't scan well, so you'll just have to imagine it.

Renovations

2009-06-16T18:19:00.000-07:00

Okay, I've been meaning to post pictures of the renovations we've done so far since before Kenny's birthday, so I figure I better do it before you guys stop checking my blog and just assume that I've abandoned it.
What we've done so far:
-painted everything upstairs and a room-and-a-half downstairs
-laminate throughout the main floor
-linoleum on the stairs and in the main floor bathroom

What's left to do:
-new windows
-reshingle half the roof
-finish painting downstairs

For the before pictures, follow this link.

Kenny's Birthday

2009-06-03T08:08:00.000-07:00

It was Kenny's third birthday yesterday. We had a small party for him at home with his grandparents and a couple of cousins. He has been looking forward to his birthday ever since Alex's birthday back in March, so it was nice to finally be able to celebrate it. He requested pizza for supper, so that's what we fed him.

Avril decided to get creative with his cake. He's a big Thomas and Friends fan, so she made him a Thomas cake. It turned out very nice. It also reminded me of my own third birthday. Mum made me a train cake, too.

He got some pretty cool presents. Grammie and Papa gave him a basketball net that attaches to his door. Jane and Lucy gave him a squirt gun. Auntie Afton gave him a train (Emily) and a the movie Wall-E. The present from Gramma and Grampa was in Lethbridge, so he'll be getting it later.

He had a lot of fun playing with Jane and Lucy. There was a lot of running and screaming. Even Alex joined in, even though he can't go as fast as the older kids.

Getting There

2009-05-19T19:41:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't been updating this blog much lately. Things have been excessively busy over the past two weeks. But hey, I updated hyperblogianism twice and Memories of the '90s once, so you haven't been completely out of my loop if you've been following those blogs.
See how tired I am because of all the busy-ness? I hate napping, yet there I am, falling asleep on the couch with a baby on my lap.

We're in full renovations mode. As of this morning, the main floor of our house is officially painted. Every wall, even the bathroom and closets, and we painted the kitchen cabinets, too. I also stained the deck. We're going to paint every wall in the basement, too. This evening, we painted the feature wall in Kenny's room. We let him pick the colour: dark purple. Kenny was eager to help, and Alex even started helping by the time we got to painting his room.

The people we bought our floors from are coming tomorrow to install new linoleum in the main floor bathroom and the stairs. Our laminate should be arriving any day now (they had to order it from Calgary), and Don Laqua will be installing it for us.

My new job is coming along well. People take me more seriously now that I'm an Assistant Municipal Administrator rather than a lowly Municipal Intern. It's always interesting to get to know a new town staff and a new town council. The Sunny South News will be interviewing me tomorrow, and there will be a little write-up about me in next weeks paper. I hope they don't ask me where I'm from, because I always have such a hard time answering that question succinctly.

On Saturday, Avril and the boys went out to the Laqua's cabin in the Crowsnest Pass to visit her parents and her sister. I was feeling a little under the weather, so I stayed home to stain the deck, mow the lawn, and play video games. Kenny went fishing for the first time. He and Grampa have been planning this for weeks, and he has been very excited about it. He caught three fish in half an hour. Not bad for a rookie.
He named all three fish. Then he ate them.
Alex enjoyed the cabin, too. He has been able to walk since a couple of weeks before his first birthday, but it hasn't been until this past week that walking has become his preferred mode of transportation. He's getting much better at it, and he's getting close to being able to run.

That should about bring you up to speed. I'm saving all of the after pictures of house until we at least have the new floors installed.

Big Move

2009-05-05T18:04:00.000-07:00

Well, we're in Picture Butte. Avril and I are officially home owners. The piano was moved out of the Three Hills house and into the Picture Butte house without killing or maiming anyone, and there was only minimal damage done to the house. And the casters broke off the bottom of the piano, but it still makes music fine.

It's been awhile since I've posted. I have nothing really to update besides the move. I'll include lots of pictures to make it more interesting.

My last day of work in Trochu was Thursday, April 23. We came down to Lethbridge on the 24th to close the deal on the house. Avril and I left the boys with their grandparents in Stirling, and we came back up alone to finish packing the house up without boys getting underfoot and screaming about all of the toys we were packing away. (And throwing away, in some cases.) We loaded up Don Laqua's trailer, and he came up to tow it to Picture Butte. Then last Wednesday, we rented a U-Haul to fill up and take the rest of the stuff. I made the reservation online, and we were supposed to pick up the truck in Beiseker, which is only half an hour away from Three Hills, but the day before, when U-Haul called to confirm the reservation, the truck was in Airdrie. I wasn't very happy about that, because it meant two hours of driving before we could even start loading the truck. We had some help from the branch loading the truck, and that went fairly quickly, and we left for Picture Butte late that afternoon. We moved everything in on Thursday, which is also when Sears delivered our new appliances. They were nice enough to move the previous owner's appliances out into the yard so they wouldn't be in the way of our stuff. I was pretty angry that the stuff was still there. Don made some calls, and they came to take their fridge and range, but they left their dishwaser for some reason. It's still sitting in my side yard.

We're in the midst of renovations now. We're painting every room in the house, and we ordered new floors for the main floor. We're also getting new windows, and half of the roof needs to be reshingled. I don't start work until May 11, so Avril has me around to help with everything. Don is going to install the laminate, and we're getting professionals to do the linoleum, windows, and shingles.

Kenny and Alex are adjusting nicely to their new house. Kenny loves to help paint. He really gets into it, and we have to watch him closely to make sure he doesn't paint anything that he shouldn't. He had a little mishap the other day. Avril was napping, and I was taking a break from work by playing video games. The boys had been playing in the family room with me, but they migrated upstairs. I heard a thump, but didn't think much of it until Kenny came downstairs and said, "I spilled the painting." I ran upstairs and found the can of white paint on its side in the living room. The lid had come off, and there was half a can of white paint soaking into the carpet. I was able to salvage enough so that we could finish painting our kitchen cupboards. Kenny got off relatively easy, partly because it was an accident, but mostly because the carpet is so disgusting that the paint was an improvement.

Playing in the Dirt

2009-04-20T08:44:00.001-07:00

That's me in Prince George, 1980. I was two years old.
That's Kenny in Three Hills, yesterday. Also two years old (pushing three, though).
Alex wanted in on the dirt action, too, but he wasn't quite as into it as his big brother.

Happy Birthday, Avril

2009-04-12T19:17:00.000-07:00

This last Thursday (April 9) was Avril's 24th birthday. We had quite the little party. Avril's parents and her sister came, and my parents and my cousin Beth (they were passing through on their way to Arizona) stopped in, too. We had lasagna and cheesecake and good company.

Now I'm going to do a little tribute to her, not unlike what Mum does for her kids on their birthdays. It'll be a little different, though, because I'm only going back as far as I've known her.
I met Avril in the summer of 2003. She was 18 years old and fresh out of high school. She went to school in Foremost, Alberta for most of her life, but graduated from Stirling High School. She missed a few months of her senior year due to a bad case of pneumonia, but still finished second in her class. The above picture is one of her grad pictures, and that's pretty much how she looked when I met her, only she wasn't wearing a prom dress and didn't have those pretty flowers in her hair. She was the little sister of two of my friends, Dalin and Afton Laqua (brother and sister, not husband and wife). She doesn't remember meeting me. We didn't make a huge impact on each other at first.
This is the first picture of the two of us together. We weren't dating at the time. In fact, we were both at this dance with different dates. But it was posing for this picture, when I put my arm around her waist, that I first felt a little spark.
Near the end of March, 2004, after sitting next to each other at a play, Avril and I started a month-long stretch of flirting with each other. The above picture was taken at Avril's 19th birthday party. Her parents had given her a vacuum cleaner, and I was helping her put it together. While I was reading the instructions, she figured out how to do it on her own.
We started dating near the end of April, 2004. The above picture was taken during our courtship. Ain't she hot?
We got engaged on May 26, 2004. We were both living in Lethbridge, Alberta at the time. In fact, we were living there since we had met.
We were married on September 17, 2004 in the Alberta Cardston Temple. She was the most beautiful bride in the world. I know all husbands say that (all good husbands, anyway), but it's actually true in my case. We spent the first few months of our marriage in Stirling, Alberta.
This picture is from Avril's 20th birthday (April 9, 2005) in Stirling, her first birthday since we were an official couple. I made that cake, by the way. She's so adorable. This was also near the end of her college career.
Her convocation from Lethbridge Community College was in May of 2005. She graduated with an Office Administration diploma and immediately started working at North & Company law firm in Lethbridge as a legal assistant. Shortly after this, we moved into Lethbridge.
While we were living in Lethbridge, Avril gave birth to our first son, Kenneth, on June 2, 2006. It was a hard, long labour, but she got through it and naturally gave birth to the 9 pound 11 ounce baby with a 38 cm head.
Almost two years later, on March 24, 2008, she did it again. Alexander was an easier birth, in part due to his more reasonable size (7 pounds 15 ounces with a 36 cm head).

Avril is a wonderful wife and mother, and I'm so blessed to have found her. Happy birthday, Avril!
(This is the most recent good picture of Avril I could find. The batteries in our camera were dead on her birthday, and I forgot to have Afton upload the pictures from her camera while she was here. I snuck in some of her past birthday pictures, so that's something.)

My Family, 1990-1998

2009-04-07T18:25:00.001-07:00

For those of you who don't follow my other blogs, follow this link to check out a post I made talking about my family. You'll like it. Also, shame on you for not following my my '90s blog. It's my best one.

House, Baby Steps, and Cousins

2009-04-04T20:06:00.000-07:00

Our mortgage was approved, and so we'll be moving into our new house in Picture Butte at the end of April. We've already paid our last rent check, and now we get to make mortgage payments instead, which will be cheaper than the rent we were paying here in Three Hills.

In other news, Alex has taken his first steps. He started walking a week ago today. He's still shaky, and his record is six steps before going down, but we're pleased that he's getting there. He has also mastered the art of climbing onto furniture. Unfortunately, we don't have pictures of him doing either. All I have is this picture of him trying to climb onto a trunk:After several failed attempts at potty-training Kenny, he decided all on his own today that he was going to start peeing in his potty. He successfully peed twice in the potty this afternoon.
Earlier this week, we got a visit from Jenn, Anders, and the boys. They had been in Drumheller looking at the dinosaur museum, and they stopped in for dinner and a visit on their way home. Kenny had fun with Micah, Alex had fun with James, and Jonah, Sam, and Nathan had fun with Rock Band 2. It's always fun to see babies play with each other. It's not often Alex gets to hang out with someone his own age.

Alex

2009-03-25T08:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Alex's first birthday. We celebrated with homemade pizza and store-bought cake (I was at work all day; no time to bake).
Here's Alex enjoying his pizza.
Here he is blowing on the cake after the candle had already been blown out by his brother and father. He enjoyed the cake very much. Here is a series of pictures illustrating how much he enjoyed it:
After a quick bath, we gave him his presents. He got a Cars pillow from Kenny and a toy phone from Avril and me.
In other news, Avril spent last week down south looking for a house to buy in Picture Butte. Our mortgage broker said that we should be able to get a mortgage up to $170,000. We made an offer on a 1/2 duplex, and the offer has been accepted and the contract signed. Now we're just waiting for the mortgage to be approved. The house needs a lot of work (new shingles, new flooring upstairs, new appliances, new windows), so we're trying to get a little extra money on the mortgage to cover those costs. We're paying $138,500 on the house itself.

Picture Butte

2009-03-16T12:31:00.001-07:00

I spent last week down in Picture Butte for what Dad calls a "job audition." And the audition went well. I awed them with my grant-application-writing skills, and they offered me a job as Assistant Administrator. (No, not Assistant to the Administrator.) Picture Butte is a nice little town 20 minutes north of Lethbridge, and the town's staff is fairly small. They have a great bakery, and a good golf course. I start May 11. Since I was offered the job, Avril and the boys have stayed down south to look for a place to live. If we can buy a place, that'll be great, but I've been told that banks these days won't give you a mortgage until you've been working at your current job for six months, so we'll probably end up renting Mum and Dad's retirement house in Lethbridge until we're allowed to buy. In the meantime, I'm living like a bachelor if bachelors had nice family houses. This involves eating poorly, playing Rock Band 2 really loud, being lonely, and sleeping great. Most of this week will actually be spent at the Local Government Administrators Association convention in Red Deer, anyway.

Pictures from Internship Wrap-Up

2009-03-10T08:47:00.001-07:00

I received a bunch of pictures today from Alberta Municipal Affairs from the Internship Wrap-Up session.
The interns at the Alberta Legislature Building

The interns with Deputy Minister Ray Gilmore

Me receiving a certificate from Deputy Minister Gilmore

Internship Wrap-Up

2009-03-04T16:04:00.001-08:00

After work last Tuesday, we went up to Edmonton for the last of three conferences for the Alberta Municipal Interns. I enjoyed meeting up with my fellow interns, and it's too bad that this was our last official time getting together. I will, however, see most of them again in two weeks for the Local Government Administrators Association convention in Red Deer. The highlight of the three-day conference was the tour of the Alberta Legislature Building. We got the public servants' tour, which is supposedly better than the normal tour. Having never been on the normal tour, I'm not sure what we got to see that most people don't get to see. I didn't have my camera with me, but I should be getting pictures sent to me by the people in charge of the Internship, which I will post here once I receive them.
When I wasn't networking, I got to hang out with Sara and her family. (Mum, too, but I don't have any pictures of her.) Above is Alex and Eloise watching TV from behind bars.
We had Swiss Chalet twice while we were up there. It's my favourite restaurant, and the closest one is in Calgary (gag!). Alex and Kenny were both being very cute. Kenny especially was not being his usual shy self and was showing off how cute and smart he is.
For any of you who follow Sara's blog, you already read about Kenny, Max, and Charlie playing tag, so I won't tell you about it again. Just enjoy the pictures.

We came home Saturday afternoon, and I went back to work on Monday. I had been working in Three Hills since the second week of December, and this is my first week back in Trochu in a while. I won't work in Three Hills again. The rest of my internship will be in Trochu, with the exception of next week, which I will be spending in Picture Butte.

On The Mend

2009-02-23T12:11:00.000-08:00

It was a rough weekend. Everyone was sick except for me. Kenny got it first, then Alex and Avril fell ill. It was a pretty bad cold. Somehow, I haven't come down with it yet. It's probably holding off until I get to Edmonton later this week, as is the tradition. None of us slept well over the weekend, and there was a lot of phlegm flying around. The three of them seem to be in much better shape today, so that when I inevitably get sick, Avril can pick up the slack.

Since she's feeling better, Avril decided to do some housecleaning today, and the boys, of course, wanted to help. Here are some pictures. Excuse the photo quality; these were taken with my phone:

Alex Makes a Phone Call

2009-02-20T07:42:00.000-08:00

I was sitting on the couch downstairs with Alex yesterday after work. He was having a fun time climbing and jumping around. Eventually, he saw the telephone on the back of the couch and grabbed it. I let him investigate if for a little while. Then he started pushing random buttons. I decided to take it away from him, and he put up a fight. We wrestled for it, and when I finally took it from him, I hung it up. It immediately rang. I answered it and the person on the other end said, "This is 911 emergency. We received a call from this number. Do you have an emergency?" Bad baby! Bad baby!

Long Weekend

2009-02-17T08:40:00.000-08:00

I like Family Day for two reasons:

1. It's a holiday without pomp or ceremony. Just a nice day off of work.
2. I always forget that it's coming, so it's like a surprise long weekend.

Those are also the two reasons why I like Victoria Day.

Early last week, in discussing what we were going to do for Valentine's Day, Avril said, "Afton will watch the kids for us if we take them to her house." They were just kidding, but I took them up on the offer. After work on Friday, Avril and I loaded the boys into the Crapvalier and drove down to Lethbridge, snow be damned.

It turned out that Avril's parents watched the kids instead of Afton, but it's all the same to me. We had an early date in an effort to avoid the dinner crowd at restaurants. We had a late lunch (thus also avoiding the lunch crowd) at the Cheesecake Cafe, and then we went to watch the 4:15 showing of the movie Coraline. After that, we dropped in to visit Afton for a few minutes, and then went to Wal-Mart because we weren't ready to go home yet. I bought Avril a new cordless phone for the house (the one we had sucks) as a present while we were there. We don't usually buy each other presents on Valentine's Day, so I didn't feel bad about buying such an unromantic present.

Avril was sick on Sunday, so she stayed at her parents' house with Alex while Kenny and I headed out to Purple Springs to have family dinner with the Olers, Heningers, and Rasmussens. I had a very nice visit with them. It had been a while since I had last seen the Rasmussens. It was a very nostalgic visit. We did a lot of reminiscing.

We relaxed Monday morning. Avril's parents had two of their granddaughters, Jane and Lucy, staying with them, so Kenny had a lot of fun playing with them. In the early afternoon, we went shopping at Costco with Afton, and then we had lunch at Swiss Chalet before heading home.

I'll try to have some pictures up this evening.

Your Memories

2009-02-11T10:55:00.000-08:00

As most of you know, I recently did this facebook thing: "Leave one memory that you and I have together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember! Don't send a message, leave a comment on here. Next, re-post this in your notes and see how many people leave a memory about you." Here are the replies that I got:

Jenn: "When Mike was a teeny tiny boy he walked up to a sand dune in his Saskachewonian backyard, sat down in the concave side, and called it his office."

Kyle Jensen: "Do you remember when Zac and Kyler were slapping my wrists with wet wash clothes for roughly 15 minutes while you just looked on with a mix of disgust and laughter??"

Kevin Calder: "Just wanna be your teddy bear - oooohh"

Amy: "I once, accidently, stuck a hook in one of Mike's eyes -- he was surprisingly calm about it."

Heidi: "One time, I was kissing Nosh on Mike's couch and Mike high-fiived me."

Brady Cahoon: "Kyle, don't forget that I was there slapping your wrists with the wet wash cloth too!

Mike, so many glorious memories of visiting you late at night at the HOJO! Hoo Hah!!! Still remain vivid in my memory. The one time where we stayed and watched Donny Darko was nice. Lookin' for the good ones. Dorgon."

Rachel: "I remember almost getting you beat up by flagrantly throwing pickles at troubled youth. I'm still impressed with how you leapt right over that fence like it wasn't there." (Want the full story? Go here: http://hyper90s.blogspot.com/2009/02/pickle-tossing.html)

Neil: "Shopping carts thown out of the back of the truck on the highway!" (Full story here: http://hyper90s.blogspot.com/2009/02/shopping-cart-tossing.html)

David Prince: "The first thing that comes to mind is sitting in our crappy house in the jungles of the Philippines, after chasing out the rats, after a long day sweating in the 35 degree weather, watching Mike tend his ingrown toenail that had recently been operated on. Those were the days. As well as chopped up BBQ'd chicken on a stick.....mmmm.....jungle chicken."

Mum: "Ah Mike. I remember the night you were born. After three lovely girls, you were a pleasant surprise, and we finally got to use the name we had chosen for our second son before we were married. You were so cute and little...well a big baby, but a little boy. Loved you then, love you now."

Sara: "sitting in the back of the neighbours jeep with you while your face was hanging open and your jaw was broken, and jolting you awake everytime you tried to fall asleep."

Memories of the 90s

2009-02-10T19:15:00.000-08:00

Okay, I made another blog. This one is the last one for a while, I promise. It's a blog of my interesting memories from when I was a teenager. I'm making an effort to keep it light-hearted, and it will arguably be the most interesting of my three blogs. Here's the link: http://hyper90s.blogspot.com/

25 Things

2009-02-09T12:13:00.000-08:00

Mum posted hers on her blog, so I figure I can do the same to mine. I'll also add comments or explanations on each point, just so that you aren't bored by having to read this twice.

1. I once peed on a dead monkey just so that I could say "Yes" if anyone ever asked me if I've peed on a dead monkey.
-No, nobody has ever asked me if I've peed on a dead monkey. Well, except for the companion who convinced me to do it.

2. There's a small dent on my head that I got from falling while running around a coffee table and hitting my head on the corner.
-I am now paranoid about my sons around coffee tables.

3. I had my gallbladder removed in 2004 because of gall stones, and then I had surgery to remove a kidney stone in 2005. (Not as impressive as Mary's streak of abdominal surgery, I know, but I think it's cool.)
-I never felt pain from the gallstone. When I had the kidney stone attack, I went to the doctor, who said, "Yeah, sounds like a kidney stone." However, the ultrasound didn't find a kidney stone. It did find a gallstone, though, which was far away from where the pain happened. The next year, after the gallstone was gone and I was still having stone attacks and blood in my urine, they found the kidney stone using a CT scan.

4. I've seen the inside of my own bladder.
-this was when they were trying to find out why there was blood in my urine, which eventually lead to the CT scan that discovered the kidney stone.

5. I knew Avril's brother and sister before I knew her. Also, I went to high school with one of her sisters-in-law. In fact, my cousin Neil used to date that particular sister-in-law.
-Avril is seven years younger than me. Her second brother is my age, and he is the one who married the girl that I went to high school with. That's how I met him. Her older sister was friends with Noah, and we were in the same singles ward. It is through her that I met Avril.

6. I was less confident as an attractive 18-year-old B student than I was as a fat, bespectacled 25-year-old college drop-out.
-It's amazing what a mission and an engagement (albeit a failed engagement) will do to a guy's confidence.

7. I'm the fifth child of seven, and I'm the second of two sons. Also, my father is the second of two sons. COINCIDENCE?! Yes.
-If this were a fantasy novel, Alex would have formidable magical powers.

8. I was the fourth of my siblings to get married at age 26.
-the first three: Rob, Amy, and Sara.

9. I've been to as many countries as I have States. (Five. Countries: Canada, USA, Taiwan, China, Philippines. States: Maine, Montana, California, Utah, Colorado.)
-Mary says I've been to New York state. Is that true?

10. Of the places listed in #9, I was only in the airport for the following: Taiwan, China, Colorado.
-All very nice airports.

11. By the time Kenny is three years old, he will have lived in six different places.
-Where will the sixth place be? Tune in for more details. (I hope it's Picture Butte.)

12. Someone once robbed me at gunpoint at the motel I worked at a couple of years ago.
-turned out to be a fake gun. And good news: she's probably out of prison now!

13. Someone once threatened to kill me with a ballpoint pen at the other motel I worked at a couple of years ago.
-"Did I just hear you on the radio?" was the first thing he said to me. Three months in prison.

14. I don't like working at motels.
-And not just because of the constant threats on my life.

15. I once tried to teach myself Korean because my boss kept speaking Korean. I got bored after a week.
-Anyong ha seyo.

16. I own three video game consoles. (PS2, XBox 360, Wii)
-Technically, the Wii belongs to Avril.

17. I bought a deep fat fryer and an exercise bike within weeks of each other.
-One makes me fat, the other makes me not-so-fat.

18. I've eaten more beef jerky in the last few months than I have in my whole life up until a few months ago.
-It might be true. I haven't kept detailed records of my beef jerky consumption.

19. I am sometimes prone to exaggeration.
-Like when I talk about how much beef jerky I've been eating lately.

20. I own 22 different Superman DVDs. (NOTE: Even though it follows the exaggeration comment, this one is not an exaggeration.)
-And there are lots more still to be had.

21. A mutual friend wanted Heidi Bialik (who later married my cousin/best friend) and me to date each other despite the fact that, at the time, she was 17 and I was 25.
-I had a rule in my last couple years of singlehood: no dating anyone younger than Emily.

22. I go through a beard-goatee-beardless cycle about three times a year. Right now I'm in the goatee phase.
-Avril likes my goatee face the best. If I was significantly thinner, I'd be clean-shaven all the time. Facial hair masks my double chin.

23. I didn't own a cellphone until last year.
-Useful tools, but I hate cellphone culture.

24. I had nine ingrown toenail surgeries on my mission. All on the same toe. The last one, which was also the most drastic one, was on my 22nd birthday.
-The first three surgeries were done by the mission president's wife at the back of the chapel after zone conference.

25. Once a saw a blimp.
-I don't think anyone caught this Simpsons quote. Larry Burns (voiced by Rodney Dangerfield) said it.

Kenny the Tailor

2009-02-07T16:54:00.001-08:00

So I was sitting on the couch playing video games last night. Alex was in bed, and Avril was on the computer. Kenny was standing on the couch beside me. He had been jumping around, which has been his favourite activity lately, much to the chagrin of his mother. He had stopped jumping, and I continued playing Soul Caliber IV. Kenny was been suspiciously quiet, and if I hadn't been distracted by the pure awesomeness that is Soul Caliber, I probably would have caught him sooner. I heard a *snip*. I looked over and saw that Kenny had found Avril's sewing scissors and had decided to modify his shirt. The one that he was wearing. My heart stopped for a second, amazed that Kenny hadn't cut his fingers or, more impressively, his belly. I took the scissors from him, put them someplace out of reach, and caught my breath.

Now Accepting Offers

2009-02-03T09:57:00.000-08:00

With my internship coming to an end on April 30, I am officially in job hunt mode. I've updated my resume, and I've bookmarked the job posting page on AUMA's website. If anybody hears of any jobs opening up in municipal administration or some other field that might suit me (hotel management, perhaps), let me know. My mother-in-law found an ad in the Lethbridge Herald for a job in Picture Butte that wasn't listed on any of the websites I look at, so don't think you can't find anything that I can't find myself.

Also, the house that Avril and I are renting sold over the weekend, so we need our butts out of it by May 1. It would be nice to know where we're moving to before we actually vacate the premises. It only took one showing to sell that house. The first people who looked at it put in an offer. I give credit (blame?) to the awesome job Avril did at cleaning it. I helped, but she did most of the work while I was at work.

Changes

2009-01-28T10:48:00.000-08:00

I've made a few changes to the blog. For one, I changed the title from hyperblogianism to MiKenzie, Inc. Why? When I started this blog, it was originally intended to be a place for my online persona, hyperferrianism, to post opinions, humor, and social commentary, much like he has long done on message boards. Instead, it quickly evolved into a venue to keep my family up to date with what's going on in my life. This has been a good evolution. I prefer this to Facebook, which I have hardly touched since starting this blog. However, this leads to my next change: I have a new blog that is going to follow the original intent of this blog (opinions, humor, and social commentary). If you're interested, here's the link: www.hyperblogianism.blogspot.com Some of you might not be interested, and I won't be offended if you don't follow my new blog.

2008 Year In Review

2009-01-18T17:13:00.000-08:00

I meant to do this on New Year's Day, but as I sat down to do it, I read Mum's blog entry that said that MacKenzie was dead, and that distracted me. But, after weeks of procrastination, here it is:

January: I started 2008 as a recent college grad working at the Howard Johnson Express Inn in Lethbridge, Alberta. I was sending out resumes, but the job I really wanted (Alberta Municipal Affairs Internship for Administrators) wasn't availabe until May. I had to have my application package in by mid-February, so that is what I devoted most of my job-hunting enthusiasm towards despite the proddings of my father to get out there and find a real job as soon as possible.

February: I don't remember much happening in February. Life just continued on as it had. Avril was large with child, I sent in my application package to Alberta Municipal Affairs, and I hung out with Noah, Heidi, and my sister-in-law Afton. There was Valentine's Day, so Avril's parents got Kenny for the day.

March: This month was a little more eventful. I had an interview for the internship in Raymond, Grande Prairie, and Trochu/Three Hills. On the way home from the interview in Trochu/Three Hills on March 19, the CAO of Three Hills called me and offered the job, so I took Noah (my travelling companion) to Calgary for a celebration at Swiss Chalet. The next day, I turned 30 years old. Then, on the 24th of March, Avril gave birth to our second son, a cute ball of happiness that we named Alexander Lloyd. No, the name has nothing to do with author Lloyd Alexander, and no, we didn't name him after famous Canadian explorer Alexander MacKenzie. If you must know, he's named after the main character of a story I wrote, and his middle name is my father's name. What else happened in March? Heidi's dog died on my birthday, which was sad. Loki had attitude and baditude.

April: This was a pretty good month. A little busy, but good. Avril turned 23 on the 9th. Alex did as newborns do. Kenny was adjusting beautifully to being a big brother. We made a couple of trips to Three Hills and Trochu desperately looking for a place to live. Things were looking pretty glum until we finally found a crap-shack to rent in Trochu. We didn't realize how much of a crap-shack it was at the time, so we were very happy. The most exciting event of April was the birth of Heidi's daughter Matea. She was born on April 24th, a family favourite. On the last day of April, we left Lethbridge and moved to Trochu.

May: I started my internship on May 1. I spent that first month working in Three Hills. It was a huge change in my life. Municipal administration is worlds away (and above) working at a motel front desk. Also, instead of being in a huge ward in a city, we were in a small branch in a small town. Alex continued to grow up. Like Kenny, he smiled at a very early age, and it was a very winning smile that he was generous with. Kenny continued growing as well, continually wowing us with his English skills. A few weeks into May, I accidentally made a glass baking pan explode, and I stepped on one of the shards, gashing the ball of my foot. I should have gone to the hospital, but I decided that polysporin and a band-aid would suffice. Other May highlights: I got my first cellphone, and I frog came to visit me in my office.

June: I gave Alex his official baby blessing in church on June 1. That afternoon, since there was a lot of family in town (Avril's family, the Quists, and the Bialingers) we had a birthday party for Kenny, who turned two on June 2. During the first week in June, we went to Edmonton for several days for an orientation for the 24 interns in Alberta. It was nice to meet and talk with my fellow interns and get to know them. While we were up there, we attended a MacKenzie family reunion/Mum's 60th birthday. All seven of us kids, plus our spouses and children were there, except for Cindy and Brooklyn, who had just been released from the hospital. It was a fun day, despite the unseasonably poor weather. It was the first official Lloyd and Pat MacKenzie family reunion. When I returned home, I started working in Trochu.

July: After spending Canada Day at home in Trochu, we went down south for Matea's baby blessing. We had a nice visit with my cousins and Avril's family. Aaaaaaaand, I think that's it for July.

August: After a mere four months as the youngest MacKenzie grandchild, Alex was usurped by his little cousin Baron. Emily and Allan got married, thus finishing off my family. (I'm looking at you, now, Afton!) Avril, the boys, and I roasted in the summer heat in our breeze-free house. Otherwise, life rolled on.

September: The highlight of this month was getting together with my family for the annual MacKenzie Cup golf tournament. This year's tournament was hosted by the Quists in Lacombe. Quincey and I successfully defended our championship, and we had a nice family visit. The end of September kicked off two months of excessive business travel. First stop: Lethbridge for a career fair at the U of L. Avril and the boys came with me, and I left them there with her family while I went to Edmonton for the Alberta Urban Municipalties Association annual convention, which started on the last day of September.

October: I finished off the AUMA convention and went back home and continued working. Avril's parents brought my family back home to me, and we carried on for a time until Executive Week, a conference for the Municipal Interns, in Edmonton. We had Thanksgiving somewhere in there. We decided, sucks to travelling, we're having Thanksgiving at home by ourselves, which we greatly enjoyed. I also started my blog somewhere in there. Also, the house flooded. At 3:30 in the morning, of course.

November: My business travels continued. First, I went back to Lethbridge for another career fair, this one at Lethbridge College, which is where I went to school. I stayed down a couple of extra days so that Noah and I could head over to Medicine Hat for a Matthew Good concert. The following week, it was back to Edmonton for the Alberta Association of Municipal Districts and Counties annual convention. After this convention, I vowed that I wasn't travelling anywhere farther than Olds until February, a vow I broke two weeks later when I went to Calgary to celebrate American Thanksgiving with Avril's family. November is also the month that the by-law that Trochu Town Council had me put together was passed and blamed on me by the local paper. At the end of the month, we moved from the Trochu crap-shack to a beautiful house in Three Hills, where we are much happier.

December: December was a month of extremes. There were great times and awful times. Avril's grandfather died, and we went to Foremost, Alberta for his funeral in -30 degree temperatures plus windchill. My car doesn't handle the cold very well, and I had to have someone give it a boost several times. Christmas, on the other hand, was wonderful. The four of us spent it home alone in Three Hills. It was a very good day. A few days after Christmas, my parents came down, and we had a nice visit. Avril's parents came up and spent New Year's Eve with us, which was very nice. On New Year's Day, I found out at my cousin's 12-year-old son, MacKenzie Fisher, had died on December 31 due to a ruptured brain tumour. This was one of the awful times I alluded to earlier. I haven't cried that hard since my first fiancee (the one I didn't marry) broke up with me eight years ago. Despite the year ending on such a bitter note, it was, overall, a good year.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T14:55:00.000-08:00

I celebrated my first Christmas in 1978, and now here I am in 2008. It has been a good Christmas. No early morning trips to the hospital this year. We spent it at home alone for the first time since we got married. Very nice. One young child and a baby are mayhem enough for one day.

Anyone who lived with me while I grew up won't be surprised that Christmas starts early in the Mike MacKenzie househould. Alex woke up at 5:45 this morning. Avril got him out of bed to feed him a bottle. Meanwhile, the crying woke Kenny up, and he promptly climbed in bed with me. I made the suggestion that we go see if Santa came, and he was all for that idea. We followed the MacKenzie tradition of opening stockings first, then having bacon and eggs for breakfast before opening the rest of the presents in an orderly manner. We were done opening presents just before 8:00, which was the time we were allowed to open stockings when I was kid.
Like many babies, Alex enjoyed the wrapping paper and ribbons more than the actual presents. His favourite presents (once the ribbons and paper were thrown away) were a stuffed Mickey Mouse from his Auntie Afton, and a ride-on train from his Grandma and Grandpa that Kenny is jealous of. We haven't received presents from Grammie and Papa yet, so we'll see if they can out-do their Laqua counterparts.
Kenny is in train heaven. He got a lot of presents this year, most of which was Thomas-oriented, from tracks to movies to remote-controlled trains. He did get a few non-Thomas gifts, such as Veggie Tales, Hoodwinked, candy, a Curious George book, cars, and candy. His favourite toy is Alex's train, but his new Tidsmouth Sheds track set seems to be a close second.
One of Avril's favourite presents is the new blender I got for her. Don't worry, I got her some pretty things, too, along with a score of books and some movies. As for me, my gifts were mostly movies and video games, but I think my favourite is the second installment of The Dark Tower graphic novel.
I also enjoyed the assembly that was required with Kenny's presents.
I hope all of you had a merry Christmas. I look forward to seeing your blogs about it.

Mike Through The Ages

2008-12-16T10:20:00.000-08:00

Inspired by Mum's recent blog post, here are pictures of me over the years. I don't have any baby pictures on this computer, so I'll start in 1985 (the year Avril was born, so that's close enough).
The famous starving-dungeon-prisoner picture. This was taken in the summer 0f 1985 in Nova Scotia. Mary and I were staying with Grammie and Granddad while the rest of the family did a cross-continent car trip.
Here I am with Jake and Noah in the winter of 1989 in Raymond. Looking good, boys.
This was taken at the beginning of my senior year at Raymond High School, which was the fall of 1995. I was 17 years old and, I've never been better-looking. Man, I wish my hair was still that thick!
And here I am at the end of my senior year (spring 1996) with my prom date, Alison. It was the start of a long, interesting friendship.
This was taken around the mid-point of my mission. This would have been either December 1999 or January 2000. I'm modeling what coconuts actually look like. I'm also skinny. This was in Guiuan, Eastern Samar, Philippines.
September 17, 2004. The day I married Avril Laqua. Also the day, I'm told, that Noah and Heidi decided that they were going to get married, carrying on the tradition of Noah's life reflecting my own. Avril and I were married in Cardston, and our reception was in Stirling.
Me and my boys, Alex and Kenny, in October 2008 in Edmonton. I'm not as skinny as I was in 1985 or 1999, and I'm not as handsome as I was in 1995, but I sure am happier.

Little Known Facts

2008-12-15T13:59:00.000-08:00

Here's a list of things that you might not know about me:

I hate being late, so I'm usually 15-20 minutes early for everything.

I only ever roll over in one direction in bed. Rolling over the other way just feels wrong.

I once urinated on a dead monkey.

I still feel guilty about a lie I told my parents when I was nine years old. Although, in retrospect, I think they might have known I was lying at the time.

I once ate a plate of spaghetti full of dead ants, and I knew the ants were in it before I ate it. This was near the end of my mission in the Philippines, and I was really hungry, and I wasn't about to throw away a huge plate of spaghetti.

If I look at a clock and it reads 11:11, I have to stare at it until it changes to 11:12.

Whenever I hear a comedian or a TV show joking about how hard it is to assemble furniture and follow the instructions from stores like Ikea, I get really mad, because that kind of stuff is really easy to me, and it just seems to me that they're blaming their own idiocy on other people.

When I worked at Thriftlodge, I was never in a good mood while at work. My mood varied between mildly irritated and apoplectic.

My torso is very long in relation to my legs.

Nothing (besides certain people) brings me more joy than a new pen.

I hate it when people call Thanksgiving "Turkey Day".

Whenever I get a new watch, it needs a new battery within a week.

Quite often when I listen to music, I tap my fingers in a specific pattern to each syllable being sung: index finger, thumb, middle finger, index finger, ring finger, middle finger, pinky, ring finger. I can't stop until a phrase ends on the last ring finger of the pattern.

I eat that big piece of cartilage in chicken breasts.

I love the smell of grocery stores.

New House and Christmas Preparations

2008-12-10T12:17:00.001-08:00

Well, here we are in the midst of December. Avril, the boys, and I moved from our crap-shack in Trochu to our beautiful house in Three Hills at the end of November. We love having an entire house to ourselves instead of sharing it with basement dwellers who are constantly setting off the smoke detector. Afton and Avril's parents came up to help us out with the move, and we had some wonderful unsolicited help from our new neighbours, which was especially needed getting the ancient upright player piano upstairs.

Once we got the house into livable condition, we wasted no time getting a Christmas tree. I'm always sure to buy the tree on my own so that Avril can't stop me from getting the $55 one. Kenny loves Christmas trees, and he very much enjoyed helping to decorate it. The only problem was he put all of his ornaments in the same small area of the tree. Mommy and Daddy had to spread them out later when he wasn't looking. Alex is fascinated with the tree, and now that he can finally crawl, the tree is one of his regular destinations.

I also broke out Mum's Christmas cook book and made a batch of sour cream cookies. Kenny helped me make them, cut them, and decorate them. Decorating for Kenny consists of getting frosting on his knife, wiping I little bit on the side of a cookie, and then eating the rest of the frosting. Avril, on the other hand, did a wonderful job decorating her share of the cookies.

Blinding Sneeze

2008-12-08T12:48:00.000-08:00

So I was driving to work today, minding my own business, when I'm suddenly attacked by a bout of sneezes. On the fourth and final sneeze, as I'm scrambling in the center consul for a napkin, something bounced off of my knee and onto the floor. I wondered what it was, but kept driving and blowing my nose. I noticed that my vision was suddenly blurry. My first thought was, "Oh, great, I got snot on my glasses." But then I realized the truth. I had sneezed the right lens right out of my frames. I wasn't too worried. My lenses have popped out several times before. But after I stopped the car and had a closer look, I realized that the screw was missing. Aw, man!

Band Names

2008-12-02T11:13:00.001-08:00

Man, I'm lazy with my blog lately. This is the second entry in a row that is just pulled off of the Mo-Board.

Just for fun, I have compiled of lists of quotes from conversations I've had online that I think would make good band names. The name in parentheses is who said it. Band names with a * indicate names that Avril and I have used in Guitar Hero or Rock Band:

*Comfort of the Damned (me) Explanation: I was making the argument that Hell was on fire so that people could see while underground. The exact quote was "They were really thinking of the comfort of the damned when they designed that place."
Noah and the Cats (Heidi) Explanation: Heidi was simply talking about Noah and their cats.
*Suzy Ho-Bag (Heidi) Explanation: Heidi was using the name Suzy Ho-Bag as a general term for any woman of ill-refute.
Godlike Teeth (Noah) Explanation: Noah was bragging about his perfect teeth.
All Hail Hyper (Sean) Explanation: I forget what exactly we were talking about, but Hyper is me (short for hyperferrianism), and Sean was being sarcastic.
He's Estreeeeeemely Handsome (Heidi) Explanation: Heidi was calling Noah extremely handsome.
*Psychic Mind Twins (Heidi) Explanation: Heidi has said this often, both online and in real life. She and I have similar senses of humor, and we'll often come up with the same joke at the same time. We are, therefore, "psychic mind twins".
Dudeman (Noah/me) Explanation: This is actually what Noah and I called each other when we were roommates. I forget who said it first.
*Just Regular Rape (Mindy) Explanation: Mindy was talking about the differences between date-rape, spouse-rape, and "just regular rape". I found it morbidly amusing that she marginalized such a horrible thing as rape by adding "just regular" to it.
Duke of Sarc (Noah) Explanation: I said something sarcastic, and Noah dubbed me the Duke of Sarc.
*Your Face is a Metaphor (me) Explanation: A running joke on the Mo-Board is using "your face is..." as a comeback. If someone were to say, for example, "That dog is ugly" someone would come back with "your face is ugly!" In this instance, someone said something was a metaphor, and I came back with "your face is a metaphor!" No, it doesn't really make sense, but that's why it's funny.
Toxic Breastpump (Heidi) Explanation: this was in reference to the whole plastic-baby-products-that-cause-cancer scare not too long ago.
Mad Head Hyper (aklady--not sure what her real name is) Explanation: Mad is Heidi (short for mad misky), Head is Noah (short for headolence), and, as I explained earlier, I'm Hyper. The three of us hadn't been on the Mo-Board in a while, and aklady was wondering where we were. She said, "Where are the Canadians? Mad, Head, Hyper?" I just dropped the punctuation.
F-words and Boobies (me) Explanation: one of the other members of the Mo-Board mentioned that he always made sure that his hotel had HBO before he checked in. Heidi asked what was so great about HBO, and I facetiously answered: "F-words and boobies."

Dreams

2008-11-26T12:38:00.000-08:00

I don't have much of anything new to talk about, but I figure I should make some kind of an update before I start getting hate mail, so here are some dreams that I have had in the last few years.

"Superman's Wedding"

I was walking down 10th Avenue in Lethbridge, and I saw Noah and Heidi’s dogs running around. People were afraid of them, but I knew that they wouldn't hurt anybody. Noah was with me, and we turned onto the street that I lived on looking for his house. Unfortunately, his house had collapsed, so we figured we should find a nice house for him quick. In the front window of the nicest house on the block, we saw Gary Bialik, so we went inside and helped him move a huge sofa. Once that was over, I went outside without Noah and found myself in a large parking lot in England. A bunch of people had gathered for Superman's wedding to Lois Lane. I watched from my car. At the climax of the wedding ceremony, when Superman was supposed to show up, there was a glorious chorus of trumpeting from the heavens accompanied by an angelic choir. I looked up and, instead of Superman arriving, Jesus was descending from Heaven with a host of angels. When Jesus got close to the ground, Superman grabbed Him triumphantly, and it turned out to be a banner with an incredibly life-like and glowing image of Christ on it. The wedding was over, but someone pointed out that Lois wasn't there. Superman explained that the ceremony had been performed, and all Lois had to do now was show up and accept it. Then, in the distance, nuclear missiles started falling. We all watched in awe at the dozens of mushroom clouds blooming in the distance. I said to Avril (who was suddenly beside me, and we weren't in a car anymore) that we'd be find because we were in a small town that wouldn't be a target. "Look, that mushroom cloud over there is probably London." As I was saying this, a nuclear bomb exploded much closer to us. As the shock wave radiated out from it, I realized that it would reach us. I turned and ran with Avril and her parents away from the shock wave, which was blowing the ground to pieces and sending rubble about 50 feet into the air. As we ran, I knew that we weren't going to outrun it, and I realized, with a weird calm horror, that we were about to die. I stopped running, and, in a moment of conscious control over my dream, I kind of phased myself out of reality and the shock wave passed me without hurting me. I had intended to save Avril and her parents, but they vanished as the shock wave passed. I was left alone in a gray, desolate landscape, and that's when I woke up.

I didn't record any of the details of this next one, but it's amusing enough to mention:

"Moon Brothers"

I dreamt that Rob and I went to the moon in a rocket-powered minivan.

This next one is kind of disturbing, and I was trying to be a little artsy when I wrote it down. I had this dream while Avril was pregnant with Alex. Also, my shoulder had been hurting for the last few weeks, and I jokingly referred to it as my shoulder cancer (kind of like the eye cancer I had on Facebook, only obviously a joke because I was saying it in real life):

"Complications"

I'm in the unfinished basement of my house with Avril. It's completely bare, just concrete floor and walls and a skeletal wooden staircase leading up to the main floor. I don't feel well, but I'm not concerned about it. Avril is having complications with her pregnancy. Her life and the life of the baby are in danger. Dr. Terry Smith is there with us watching over her.

I have a secret about the baby. He's half Martian. I'm the father, and Avril is the mother, yet somehow my unborn son is half Martian. That's probably what's wrong, the reason the pregnancy has gone awry. I should tell Dr. Smith, but I'm afraid to.

I feel worse now. I'm nauseated, and my left arm hurts. Do I have cancer? I should talk to Dr. Smith and get tested before it's too late.

Avril is lying on the cold floor. She's barely conscious. A few more people are here trying to make her comfortable. I don't recognize the newcomers, but their presence doesn't alarm me.

My nausea is worse. The pain in my arm has spread to the rest of my body. I'm getting weak and light-headed. It probably is cancer. I should tell the doctor.

Dr. Smith comes near and I stop him. "The baby is half Martian," I say.

"That will make it hard for him to adjust," Dr. Smith says and moves on.

There are more people in the basement now gathered around Avril. I'm standing alone on the other side of the room holding a narrow slab of concrete that came from the floor. I'm growing weaker. I know now that I have cancer. I'm dying. I'm naked and frail, my body withered and covered with radiation burns. My teeth feel loose in their sockets. I can't hold the concrete slab anymore, and it tips over, cracking in half when it hits the floor.

I look over towards Avril. She is surrounded by about a dozen people. They are laying her down on the dirt where the concrete slab had originally been. It looks like a shallow grave. She's still alive, but they're preparing for the worst. I try to go to her, but there are too many people and I'm too weak to push my way through. I want to say good-bye to her before I die, but they won't let me near her.

They lay a sheet of linoleum on the floor. It covers Avril. Since I can't be near her, I start making my way upstairs. My father is up there. I can at least say good-bye to him. Halfway up the stairs, I meet Aunt Cheryl. It has been a while since we've seen each other, and she wants to talk. I love Cheryl, but I'm desperate to reach Dad. When I open my mouth to say so, two of my teeth fall out.

And that's when I woke up and ran my tongue along my teeth to make sure they were all still there. I was still in pain, but it was just my left arm. I had been laying on it awkwardly, and it was aching considerably.

And, for no particular reason, here's a picture from the Alberta Urban Municipalities Association's annual gala in October:

It's All My Fault

2008-11-17T09:49:00.000-08:00

So I went to church yesterday, and all anyone could talk to me about was "my" curfew by-law. Apparently, while I was in Edmonton, this was front-page news for the Three Hills Capital. I went out and bought a copy and was a little disturbed to read this sentence from the first paragraph of the article: "The entire by-law was developed and put together by the Town's municipal intern--Mike MacKenzie." As if it was my idea and my decision to pass the by-law. A glaring omission from the sentence was this phrase: "under the direction of the Town Council." Yes, I researched the curfew by-laws of other towns in Alberta. Yes, I wrote the by-law. Why? Because they told me to. I'm an administrator. It's my job to carry out the wishes of Council. They're the ones who told me to make the penalties harsher. They're the ones who voted unanimously to enact the by-law. Thankfully, the local nogoodnik teenagers have no clue who I am, and they probably don't have the smarts and the will to look through past issues of the paper to find my picture.

Orange or Marmalade

2008-11-13T19:58:00.000-08:00

My experience at the downtown Edmonton Swiss Chalet drive-thru reminded me of a story that one of the elders on my mission told me. To get to the Philippines, we flew Eva Airlines, which is based out of Taiwan. So, of course, all of the flight attendants were from Taiwan and thus spoke Mandarin. They knew enough English to function as flight attendants on an international airline, but it was heavily accented. This particular elder, whose name escapes me for the moment, was being served breakfast near the end of the 14-hour flight across the Pacific Ocean. The flight attendant said something that Elder Whosit heard as "Orange or marmalade?"

"Um...Orange?" he said.

The flight attendant repeated what she had said.

"Marmalade?" the elder said.

Obviously flustered, the flight attendant repeated herself a third time and finally got across what she meant. She was asking if he want porridge or omelet.

I was thinking about this because I thought the girl in the drive-thru was asking if I wanted chipotle ketchup when she was asking if I wanted utensils and ketchup.

I Wanna Go Home!

2008-11-12T19:04:00.000-08:00

Starting at the end of September, I've pretty much been constantly on the road, which is the main reason why I haven't updated my blog in a while. On September 26, I went to a career fair at the University of Lethbridge finding recruits for the Alberta Municipal Affairs Internship program. I left Avril and the boys with her sister Afton in Lethbridge while I went to Edmonton for the Alberta Urban Municipalities Association's annual convention at the Shaw Conference Centre. Highlights from that conference were seeing Patrick LaForge (President of hockey operations for the Edmonton Oilers) and Premier Ed Stelmach speak. When that was over, I went back to Lethbridge to pick up my family and took them back to Trochu.

The week of October 20-25 found me back in Edmonton for Executive Week for Interns. It was a nice chance to meet up with my fellow interns from around Alberta and see how they're doing. We also got to meet Ray Danyluk, the Minister of Municipal Affairs. He's a cool guy.

November 4 and 5 found me back in Lethbridge for another career fair, this time at Lethbridge College, which is where I went to school. I took an extra day off so that I could head out to Purple Springs on Saturday to visit Noah and Heidi. Avril headed home with Alex because she had to be at church on Sunday. Heidi babysat Kenny while Noah and I headed to Medicine Hat for a Matthew Good concert. It was a great concert. I've been wanting to see Matt Good live since 2001, so it was great to finally see him. I'll upload some really poor-quality photos of it from my phone once I'm on my own computer. The opening band, Secret Broadcast, was pretty good, too.

Noah drove me back to Trochu on Sunday, and then on Tuesday, Avril and I packed up the boys and headed back to Edmonton for the Alberta Association of Municipal Districts and Counties' annual fall convention. I'm the still in the middle of it. Darryl Sittler (former Toronto Maple Leaf) will be speaking to us tomorrow.

I got sick at the AUMA convention, I got sick during Executive Week, and Avril and Alex are sick now, so I'll probably get sick again, too.

Fortunately, this is the last conference or convention I'll have to go to until February, and I plan on staying put (except for the move from Trochu to Three Hills) until then. That means no Christmas traveling. Feel free to come visit us, though.

Pictures coming soon.

Executive Week

2008-10-26T11:52:00.001-07:00

We just spent the week in Edmonton for what's called "Executive Week" for all of the Alberta Municipal Affairs interns. It kept me quite busy, but I enjoyed most of it. I've connected more with my fellow interns, and I got to meet a lot more people involved in local government. On Monday, the interns had dinner with Ray Danyluk, the Minister of Municipal Affairs. He's a very charismatic man. I liked him. In fact, if he were the leader of the Conservative party, I might vote Conservative.

As is custom for whenever I visit Edmonton, I got sick. So did Alex and Kenny. That made for a few nights of terrible sleep. We're still not quite over it, but we're on the mend.

The boys had some time to play with their cousins. Kenny and Max clashed over trains, but things went well for the most part.

We stayed an extra day so that we could join in the celebration of Dad's 59th birthday. It wasn't a big party, but it was nice to be around for it. I miss a lot of the family birthdays being one of the out-of-towner kids.

Scroll down to the "On the Move Part II" entry to see pictures of the house we're moving into.

By Popular Demand

2008-10-16T13:37:00.000-07:00

My fans want photos on my blog, so here's a sampling of the photos I have on my work computer. I'll add relevant photos to some of my early posts later this evening while I'm at home.

On The Move Part II

2008-10-16T10:33:00.000-07:00

A family has recently moved out of the Three Hills Branch. They called us up a couple of days ago and offered to rent their house to us until May, which is when my internship ends. We hummed and hawed about it for a couple of days, and then this morning we decided to take them up on their offer. So we're moving from Trochu to Three Hills at the beginning of December.

There are a lot of reasons why we decided to move. Money was a small reason. Right now, we're paying $1200 rent with utilities included. The Jabureks are going to charge us $875 not including utilites. The utilities will add up to about $250, for a total of $1125. Not a big difference, but that's $75 we didn't have before, and every bit will count because Avril's maternity leave runs out in November.

The biggest reason to move for me is the differences in the houses. We'll be living alone in the house instead of sharing it with two other families who always seem to be setting off the smoke detector. All of the screens on the windows in the Trochu house have holes in them, and some are missing. The Trochu house has a useless steel chimney that leaks water when it rains and will be a major source of heat loss in the winter. The windows in Trochu aren't sealed well, which will also be a heat concern in winter. And then there's the flood, which really soured my mood towards the house, and there's quite a bit of water damage to the floors, walls, and my temple clothes.

The house in Three Hills has a nicer yard that is completely fenced in the backyard (good for little kids), and we'll also be closer to more ammenties, such as IGA, the aquatic centre, church, and the hospital. Also, as much as a like Trochu, Three Hills is a nicer town. My evening walk route in Trochu didn't have sidewalks the whole way, and along one street there are hedges grown over the sidewalk in places, and in one case the sidewalk is completely torn out for a development that's dragging along slowly.

Thanksgiving

2008-10-16T10:10:00.001-07:00

This year was the first time that Avril and I spent Thanksgiving on our own instead of going to visit my family or her family. It was a very relaxed, enjoyable experience. Kenny insisted on helping in every aspect of preparing the meal. He especially helped me a lot making the death by chocolate for dessert.

Alex enjoyed the mashed potatoes, and I also fed him some Gerber's vegetable and turkey baby food. Kenny's favourite part of the meal was the sweet potatoes, probably because of the marshmallows on top. My favourite part was the turkey sandwiches that I'm still enjoying. I also enjoyed the stuffing. I made Mum's stuffing recipe, and I got to keep it all to myself instead of fighting over it with a dozen or so people. Avril doesn't like stuffing, and Kenny wasn't all that interested in it.

It would have been nice to see my family. I saw the photos of the Lloyd MacKenzie family Thanksgiving on Mum's blog and thought that it looked like a nice gathering. On the other hand, it was nice to stay home and relax with only two kids to liven things up.

On The Move

2008-10-14T08:38:00.000-07:00

Alex can't crawl yet, but he can get around. He'll roll onto his belly and push himself backwards and squirm around the whole room. Then he'll start yelling because he doesn't like to be on his belly for very long. He knows how to roll from his belly to his back. I've seen him do it. But his preferred method of getting off his belly is yelling at Mom and Dad about it.

Kenny's vocabulary is growing by leaps and bounds. He's a smart little boy, and very cute. Yesterday, I was at the opposite end of the house than Avril and the boys. Kenny came running up to me and said, "There you are! I'm so glad to see you!"

Calling

2008-10-13T08:23:00.001-07:00

The second councilor of the branch presidency/elder's quorum president was release yesterday at church because he's moving to Red Deer. They called someone to be the second councilor, but the elder's quorum president spot was left open. After sacrament meeting, Bruce Woodruff from the high council (who, I understand, grew up across the street from Curtis in Olds) ask to speak with me and Avril for a minute. "Oh, crap," I thought. "They're going to make me elder's quorum president." Fortunately, I was wrong. They called me to be the seminary teacher. I'm actually looking forward to that.

What Is That Noise?

2008-10-11T16:01:00.000-07:00

I was awoken at 3:45 this morning by a noise. My first thought upon waking up was, "What is Avril doing out there?" When I realized that Avril was in bed beside me, I listened more closely to the noise. It sounded like running water. I figured the toilet in the main bathroom was running, which it has been known to do. But why would Avril have used that bathroom instead of the master bathroom? I sat up and listened closer still. It was definitely water. Feeling a little dread gnawing at my belly, I got out of bed and walked down the hall. It wasn't the bathroom. It didn't sound right to be the kitchen sink. I left the lights off to avoid waking the boys. When I reached the end of the hall, my feet squished on wet carpet.

Crap.

I closed Alex's door and stepped into the laundry/entryway. My feet were in an alarming amount of water. It was over a centimeter deep. I turned the light on and immediately saw the problem. The hose connected to the cold water tap on the washing machine had burst, and a jet of water was shooting up and hitting the shelf above it. I turned the tap off, and went into the kitchen to see how far the water had spread. The water spread all the way into the dining room. Avril arrived behind me to see what was going on, and she was closely followed by Kenny. We spent the next few hours cleaning up by soaking towels in the water and wringing them into a mop bucket, and then emptying the mop bucket into the bathtub. Kenny thought it was a great adventure, so at least one of us enjoyed it.

Kenny didn't go back to sleep until noon. Alex woke up at 6:00. After the mess was cleaned up, we slept in shifts.

The ceiling in the empty suite below us is ruined and has to be torn out. We don't know the full extent of the damage to our floor yet. Our landlord is bringing his insurance company to have a look at it. Avril had just cleaned the house a couple days before, so none of our stuff was permanently damaged. A couple of books got wet, but other than that, we came out of it nothing worse than tired.

Last!

2008-10-10T13:10:00.000-07:00

It's important to me that I'm always last when it comes to techno-fads. I was the last person on earth to get a cellphone. Now I'm the last person on earth (under the age of 40) to start a blog. I figured that my baby-boomer parents each have their own blog, so it's my duty as a member of Generation Y (albeit one of the older members of said generation) to write a blog.

An explanation for those who know me in real life instead of online: the name of my blog is Hyperblogianism. It's a modification of my longtime screen name "hyperferrianism". I wanted an original name (as opposed to such names as sk8trdude2000), so I took the word "ferry" and added a bunch of random affixes. Later, due to popular demand, I provided a definition: "Of, relating to, or resembling the act, characteristic, or state of having too many commercial services with terminals and boats for transporting persons, automobiles, etc., across a river or other comparatively small body of water." But never mind that.